


Perfect

by justahopelessssromantic



Category: Mayans M.C. (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Heartbreak, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Loss, Love, Redemption, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:33:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 43,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23523880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justahopelessssromantic/pseuds/justahopelessssromantic
Summary: An Angel Reyes Drabble inspired by the song Perfect by Selena Gomez
Relationships: Angel Reyes/Reader
Comments: 9
Kudos: 38





	1. Chapter 1

You had been friends with the Reyes brothers for years now. You met each other when you were kids and were tight ever since, not even remembering a time when they weren’t a part of your life. You were there when Marisol passed away, mourning the loss just as much as the family, and you were there when EZ was sent to prison in Stockton. 

You were always a close friend to both brothers equally but after the tragic incident you and Angel became something more. What started as friends with benefits ended with the two of you falling madly in love with each other. You were his lifeline during that horrible time when his family was ripped apart, and he yours.

It had been seven years now since you admitted your feelings for each other and things had changed. You loved him with all your heart, feelings just as strong as those long years ago but he was distracted lately, growing further and further away from you as the days passed.

He was almost always out late now, not getting home until the early hours of the morning and whenever you brought this up to him it was always the same.

“I’m sorry querida, club shit ran late.” He’d say face in the fridge as he grabbed for the orange juice the next morning.

Or

“I was out with the guys, lost track of time, you know how they get (Y/N).” 

And everytime he gave you some bullshit excuse he never looked at you, couldn’t look at you.

You sat there at the bar nursing your drink as you stared at him across the room playing poker with Coco, Gilly, and Bishop, laughing cockily as he won the hand.

You couldn’t help it, all you could think of was her. This mystery woman who you were certain was behind the change in your man and relationship, the woman who he was falling more and more in love with each day as he fell out of love with you. You felt like you were going crazy.

Different inflection when you say my name. Kiss me, but your kiss don't taste the same. Is it real or am I going out of my mind?

Maybe no one else would notice but you did. The way he said your name had changed, he always had this way of making your knees weak when he pronounced it so perfectly, but now it had become bland on his lips. His kisses weren’t the same anymore either, he was withdrawn and they lacked the passion they once held. Sure that comes with the territory of long term relationships for most couples, but you and Angel weren’t most couples, you were certain that fire would never go out. But it did and it was because of her, you could practically taste her on his lips.

Curious 'bout the company that you keep. 'Cause I hear you talking 'bout her in your sleep. And now you've got me talking 'bout her in mine.

It wasn’t all in your mind, you had proof. Just last night as he crashed into bed beside you, passing out almost instantly you heard it, her name: Adelita. Not for the first time either, she encompassed his dreams now, soon she was all you could think about too, squirming her way into your own, haunting you, not even in sleep could you escape her. 

He had come in late again, as he had done so many times before. You knew not to wait up for him but still you couldn’t sleep. You laid in your bed wrapped up in the sheets staring into the dark when you heard the front door. Closing your eyes you pretended to be asleep as you listened to him stomp into the bedroom, kick off his boots and undress before crawling into the empty place beside you, rolling away from you and passing out as soon as he hit his pillow. It was shortly after that as you listened to him snore that you heard it.

“Adelita,” he sighed, and your heart broke.

The foreign name sounded so perfect coming from his lips, just like yours once did. 

Ooh, and I bet she has it all. Bet she's beautiful like you, like you. And I bet she's got that touch. Makes you fall in love, like you, like you.

You thought about her often, definitely more than you should, but you were obsessed. What did she look like? Was she a blonde, or a redhead? No she probably had dark hair like him. You knew she was beautiful, she had to be, like him. And her touch, what was it like? Was it like yours? Or was he after something completely different? However it felt it had to be enough to make him fall in love, like his touch had for you.

I can feel the distance every time you remember her fingertips. Maybe I should be more like her.

You could see the far away look he had when you touched him, as if he was remembering someone else’s fingertips on his skin, her fingertips on his skin. You didn’t know this woman, what she was like, but even so you couldn’t stop comparing yourself to her. Maybe you should be more like her, you yearned to be more like her.

How does she touch you? can I try it, too? I know you're twisted, but baby, I'm twisted, too.

Maybe you just needed to spice things up, maybe the sex had just become too routine for him. You were willing to try new things, be what he needed, you would do anything for him.

So you went shopping, bought all sorts of things, lingerie, toys, whips, restraints, anything you could think of to get his attention back, his affection back. 

You got all dressed up and you waited and waited until he came home. You had all your new things on the bed on display for him, you were laying on the bed on display for him, eagerly awaiting his arrival. 

You told him to come home early, that you had a surprise for him.

And he was late, like always.

Still you waited patiently. And when he did come home you thought there was no way he would turn this down, you down.

But he did.

“Fuck querida. I’m sorry. Bishop needed me late and I’m just too tired.” He said, looking down guiltily, the lie burning in his mouth.

Right. 

So you picked everything up. Went to the bathroom and spent nearly an hour washing up, scrubbing the makeup off your face and washing the humiliation from your skin, hot tears blurred your eyes. What did she have that you didn’t? What was her touch like? How was it different from your own?

Again it was her you were thinking about.

With the smell of her perfume. I could love her, too, like you, like you.

Crawling into bed you smelled it, her, on him. It was intoxicating, you could see how he could become entranced by it and you knew it was her that had kept him out late again.

Now you sat in the clubhouse just watching Angel as your mind raced. Your drink sat untouched for the last hour.

EZ watched you watch his brother as he wiped off the bar. He could tell something was wrong and his heart hurt for you. You were his best friend, always visited him while he was locked up and he only wanted you to be happy, which you clearly weren’t.

“Are you alright, (Y/N)” he asked.

“No,” You said, never breaking your gaze from your man, or at least he used to be yours, “Who’s Adelita?” Her name tasted bitter on your tongue as you said it. 

You knew if you asked Angel you wouldn’t get the truth. You were hoping you could at least get it from your best friend and if anyone knew who this other woman was it would be him.

EZ’s eyes widened as he heard her name come from your mouth. He looked around and prayed that no one else heard you. Angel had just brought him into his side deal with the Los Olvidados, and now in your own way you were involved too. 

He told Angel not to do this to you. He suspected there was something between his brother and the rebel leader but he wanted so badly to believe Angel when he told him he was wrong, that it was just business. He had something good with you and EZ hated to watch his brother throw it away, fearful of what effect it would have on your relationship with him as well. 

He silently cursed his brother before responding, clearing his throat, “She’s just someone working with the club, just business, that’s all.”

“Don’t,” You said, turning to look at the younger brother, “Don’t cover for him.”

EZ looked down, ashamed. That was all you needed.

That night you went home and fucked, but it wasn’t you he was fucking, you knew it was her, and you layed there beneath him as he chased his release, thinking of her.

I can see her body rushing into you. Crashing on your skin. Burning within, burning so deep, deep. On your skin, skin next to me.

You watched his chest rise and fall as he slept naked beside you and all you could think of was her. Her touching him, her body on top of his, riding him, her skin on his skin.

And she’s perfect.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A continuation to the Drabble Perfect inspired by the song by Selena Gomez.

You stared into the trunk of your car at the numerous bags and boxes filling it out, amazed by how so many years worth of memories could be contained in such a small space. 

Angel and the club had been away for a few days and they would be back at the clubhouse tonight, giving you plenty of time to pack your things and reflect on the current state of your relationship.

Your heart desperately wanted you to stay, wanted to forget about all the lies and deceit, but you knew you couldn’t do that to yourself, wouldn’t do that to yourself. You knew you deserved better, but it still didn’t stop your heart from aching every time you thought of him.

Slamming the trunk closed you slowly made your way to the drivers side door before taking one last good look at the place you and Angel had made your home all those years ago. 

You smiled sadly to yourself thinking about the memories you shared in that house with him. 

The time when he came home, flashing his bright new Mayans MC patch, so proud of himself for patching in, and you, just as proud, making him feel extra special that night. 

“Notice anything different?” He asked, holding his arms out and giving you a triumphant spin as he walked into your living room.

“You got a new haircut?” You teased, getting an eye roll in response. Swaying over to him you wrapped your arms around his neck, “I’m proud of you baby, I knew you could do it.”

He grinned from ear to ear. He never felt good enough for anyone, always felt like a disappointment to his family, second choice, but you never once made him feel that way. 

And now he had something of his own with the club, he was elated, and he couldn’t have asked for a better girl to have by his side, to share in these moments with. 

He kissed you fiercely, passionately, as if you were breathing life into him. 

And to congratulate him you got down on your knees, treating him like a king.

The first time he came home after a run gone bad, his face bloody and bruised, nearly scaring you half to death. 

“It’s nothin’ querida,” he assured you as you forced him to sit down at the kitchen table, hovering over him to examine the damage.

“Nothing?” You said in disbelief, “Angel, your right eye is nearly swollen shut and you’re bleeding,” You tilted his head gently to look at the cut on his cheek. “How the hell did you even ride home?” 

He shrugged, “I just needed to be home, with you.” The events of the night shook him more than he would care to admit. Your touch always had a way of making him feel at ease, and he needed that.

You ran your fingers through his hair, soothing him. “Well you’re damn lucky I’m good with a needle and thread.”

That night was the first of many to come that you would find yourself patching a bloody and beaten Angel, alleviating both his physical and emotional wounds.

All the intimate moments between you and him. In the bedroom, on the kitchen counter, the shower, the couch, up against the door when you just got home and couldn’t make it farther in the house. 

His touch against your skin, tracing the shape of your body as if he would never get tired of it, taking in all of you as if his heart would stop beating if he didn’t.

You were his queen, his world, his.

But he did get tired of it, and his heart didn’t stop with you, it found new life with another. She was his now, and it was her who he’d be sharing in the highs and lows of his life.

You sat parked outside the scrapyard. Your blood boiled as you stepped out of the car and strutted towards the clubhouse. All the guys were out and about the yard greeting you like always, not a clue to what was about to go down. 

Angel caught your movements from his seat at the table outside. He wasn’t expecting you to be here, him having told you he would see you at home, but here you were and he knew trouble was sure to follow. 

EZ had told him you knew, warned him, and he wasn’t surprised. Deep down he knew you knew, you were smart, but he was selfish and a coward. He didn’t want to lose you and most of all he never wanted to hurt you, but he did. 

He saw the fire in your eyes, the look he had seen only a couple of times in the past. Your usually composed state balancing out his hot headedness. He stood up and walked towards you hoping he could keep things on the down-low, fearful of what you might say and what might be exposed about his side business to the club.

“Can we talk? Alone,” his voice was hushed trying to keep this between you and him. But you weren’t having it, if he wanted this to be private then he shouldn’t have gone and involved others in the first place. 

SMACK! 

He rubbed the side of his face, skin stinging from where your palm violently made contact. He knew he deserved that. He looked down at the ground shameful, fearful of what was to come next.

Everyone around you got quiet as they stared at the two of you shocked, the sound echoing around the yard. Not once had they seen you raise a hand to anyone and barely did you ever raise your voice.

You didn’t care what anyone thought though, you wanted them to watch, to make a scene. You wanted to humiliate him like he had you, and you wanted the club, his family, your family, to know exactly why they wouldn’t be seeing you around anymore, that it was him.

“Talk?” You scoffed, getting him to look at you. The shame in his eyes was clear. “Now you want to talk?! You should have talked before you went and stuck your dick in some other woman!” You hissed. 

He opened up his mouth to defend himself closing it quickly as you continued tearing him a new one.

“I fucking gave you everything Angel Reyes!” You snapped, sticking your finger in his chest, “I was always there for you, when you had no one, before you had this!” You motioned around to the club, “And this is how you repay me?” Your voice got quieter as your heart sank, “I gave you all of me, why wasn’t that enough? Why wasn’t I enough?”

“I never meant to hurt you,” he said, defeated, heart breaking from the damage he caused. 

“You never think about the consequences of your actions.” You spat, shoving the keys to your shared home, his home now, in his hands. “Goodbye Angel,” you took one last look at the man you loved, “I hope it was worth it, fucking her.” Saying it out loud caused your heart to clench, “And when she breaks your heart, like you did mine, don’t expect to come crawling back to me.” 

With that you turned on your heel walking away from him, the club, and the life that you had made with him. 

“(Y/N), wait!” EZ called out catching up to you.

You turned back to face your best friend, catching Angel storming away from the two of you and into the clubhouse.

“Where will you go?” He asked. 

“Anywhere but here,” you said sadly, “I can’t stay EZ. I need to put some distance between us, the club, everything.”

Angel hurt you bad, but if you were being honest the club hurt you too. You knew EZ knew about her and Coco was his best friend, there was no way he didn’t know. Still they never said anything to you, they chose him.

He was a patched member, and you, just an Old Lady. Their loyalties would always lie with him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s another part. Hope you all enjoy :)

It had been 435 days since you walked out on Angel Reyes, but it’s not like he was counting. 

He was sitting out back of his father’s carniceria having a smoke. He had been helping out at the shop more often recently as it was a good distraction, helping to keep his mind off you, but it always found its way back. 

You were right, she did break his heart, but not as much as you did, or really he did to himself. He cursed himself everyday he woke up without you in bed next to him, the vacant space you left behind in the home deafening. He was an idiot to let you slip through his fingers.

They always say ‘you never appreciate what you have until it’s gone.’ And man how fucking true was that. 

He took a drag, inhaling as his mind drifted to you, again. He missed you so much and he only had himself to blame. You were right again and so was everyone else, he never thinks past the action.

He missed the way the corner of your eyes would crinkle when you’d get that goofy grin on your face because of something he said. 

Or the infectious sound of your laugh, how when you found something unbearably funny you’d laugh so hard you’d snort, which in turn would only cause you to laugh harder. The sound, like music to his ears.

And your touch, always so gentle. How you’d run your fingers through his hair easing all his worries away. How when you would be lying in bed tangled up together you would trace all his ink so delicately, remembering every line and curve like the back of your hand. How every time you patched him up your fingertips would work so lightly causing the least amount of pain you could manage. How you’d tug on his hair just ever so slightly when he had his face buried deep between your thighs.

Most of all he missed the sound of your voice. So soft and melodic, he desperately just wanted to hear it again, even if it was just to scold him for his inexcusable actions. 

He missed your voice so much he would even call you just to hear your voicemail message knowing you wouldn’t answer. 

You cut him off completely, all with good reason, he knew. Still after a few months you reached out to EZ and would talk to his younger brother frequently over the phone. 

He was always pestering his brother about his conversations with you, about how you were doing, once he found out you were keeping in touch with him.

“I know she won’t talk to me, but come on Ezekiel you gotta at least tell me how she’s doing” He’d beg, looking to him for sympathy

“How do you think she’s doing?” EZ would say sternly. He was pissed at his older brother for treating you the way he did, for driving you away from their family and your hometown. 

A few months later and EZ had forgiven his brother, telling him more about you as you were doing better. He loved his brother, he always would and he hated seeing his brother still beating himself up over what happened. 

Angel was a mess. 

One day you called when EZ was over at Angel’s place to watch a game and keep an eye on his self destructive older brother. He excused himself to go outside to answer. Angel knew his brother was talking to you and asked the same thing he always did when his brother got back into the room.

“How’s she doing?” He looked at his brother, his eyes sad and tired.

“She’s good,” he said bluntly, “Really good actually. She started seeing someone.” He knew these words would be like a knife to the chest to Angel, but he needed to hear them.

Seeing someone. He felt like he could be sick.

That night he tossed and turned haunted with the image of you in another man’s arms. The douchebag’s hands on your body, lips against your skin, deep inside you, your back curving in pleasure, as your sweet moans filled the room. Your body coming undone under his touch, just like it had for him so many times before.

He violently shot out of bed sweating, sleep would not be finding him anytime soon. 

Standing in front of the mirror breathing heavily he leaned against the sink, head bowed as his hands gripped the edge forcefully. That should be him, you belonged with him. Why did he have to go and fuck up another good thing in his life? The only good thing. 

He lifted his head and stared back at the man responsible for all his pain, “This is all your fuckin’ fault!” he spat, his rage only increasing. 

Overwhelmed by the rush of emotions Angel swung his fist into the glass repeatedly, smashing the thin material to shards. 

His hand stung as the blood dripped down and into the sink, the deep red a stark contrast to the pure white of the porcelain. 

He looked back at the now distorted reflection, the image of a monster. No one could possibly hate him as much as he hated himself. 

He ran his hands over his face, ignoring the blood, as he sat down on the edge of the tub, the physical pain of his hand a much welcome distraction for the emotional pain in his heart. 

Now he sat outside smoking and staring at the scars on his hand, a constant reminder of what he did, of how he hurt you. 

Sighing, he flicked the butt of his cigarette to the ground stomping it under his boot, before standing up and heading into the back door of his father’s shop. 

Stepping into the deep freeze he began sorting through the different types of meat, taking inventory as his father had asked him to. While counting he heard the jingle of the front door bell followed faintly by a woman’s voice. 

His heart clenched as he thought of you. So many times had he heard a customer come in and think they were you. Their voice, sounding just like yours, or their bodies looking just like you from behind, his heartbeat picking up only to discover it wasn’t some miracle, you didn’t come back to him, it was just another person who wasn’t you. 

Everywhere he turned he was reminded of you. 

Picking up a box of old produce Angel lugged it out to the front, “Yo Pop’s what do you want me to do with this?” He called out to Felipe, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw you there standing next to his brother in the small shop, his father just a few feet away.

He blinked rapidly a few times, jaw dropped as he tried to decide if it was really you or if he had finally lost his mind. 

You stood there staring right back at him, your skin was glowing, hair shinier and bouncier than he remembered. The dress you wore hugging you in all the right places. You were breathtaking, stunning, perfect.

It had been 435 days and no amount of time or distance could prepare him for the rush of emotions he felt when he saw you again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of (Y/N)’s perspective leading up to the reunion

The first few months apart you were so furious that it was easy to ignore his calls as well as anyone else’s that was a part of the life you left behind, but as the months went on and the loneliness kicked in you found yourself missing him, the love of your life, the only love you had really known, in spite of how badly he had hurt you.

One painstakingly lonely night you gave in and listened to the voicemails that had clogged up your box. Most of them, him sounding so broken and defeated begging for you to come back, that it took everything in you not to give in and call him, or worse go running back to him.

But you stayed strong, or at least as strong as you could.

Eventually you reached out to EZ and began talking to him on a fairly regular basis. You needed your best friend and you hadn’t realized how much you missed talking to him until you heard his voice again and everything just came spilling out of you at once. It felt so good to get everything off your chest and EZ was always such a good listener.

He was faithfully there for you like you had been for him during the time when he was locked up. 

“You just need to get back out there,” He encouraged you as he listens to you talk about how lonely you were, how you were missing his older brother extra hard in the separation you had created, or more so he had.

“There is this regular at work who keeps asking me out,” you said hesitantly as you laid across your bed, staring up at the ceiling, your cell on speaker next to you. 

“You should go for it,” he said supportively,“Give him a chance. You will never be able to move on if you don’t at least try.” 

So you listened to the sound advice from your best friend and agreed to go on a date with the man the next time he came by. He was sweet and charming, but he was no Angel. Despite that he was a welcome distraction to your loneliness. He treated you well and you had a great time with him but eventually you ended it knowing it wasn’t fair to the man to be using him in such a way, your heart never fully being able to let go of the man from back home who it belonged to for so long.

Now you were parked across the street from Carniceria Reyes. There were no bikes out front so you assumed you were in the clear. You were back now, for good.   
You missed your hometown something terribly and with the time away to properly grieve and heal you figured it was time to come home, that you were ready to be home again. 

You knew you wouldn’t be able to avoid Angel forever but you wanted to put off the reunion just a while longer, giving yourself more time to find your footing after being gone for over a year. Still you wanted to pop in and say hello to Felipe, he being just as much of an important role in your life growing up as his two sons. 

You crossed the street quickly, opening the door to the shop and being hit with the familiar scent, unpleasant, but still comforting. You had spent many days in this shop, helping Marisol disinfect everything thoroughly during the late hours after closing, having lunch with the Reyes’ family when the three of you were still in school, stopping in to check on Felipe and offer him any assistance he needed after the passing of his wife, just being there with the family, as a family. The small building held many memories that were dear to your heart, the joyous ones outweighing the tragedy that took place those many years ago. 

The familiar jingle of the bell alerted Felipe to the customer who had just walked in. He was behind the counter wrapping up an order that someone had called in earlier to come pick up later in the day. “I’ll be right with you,” he called out behind him.

“Oh no worries. Take your time,” You smiled as you ran your hand across the spines of the books on the bookshelf delicately. 

Felipe stopped in his tracks. He knew that voice, it was one he would never forget, how could he? You were basically a daughter to him. Always such a close person to the family, being around more often than not throughout the years. Even though you weren’t legally family, he still considered you as such, figuring he would one day get to call you his daughter in law. 

He finished up wrapping the cut of meat before turning around to face you. Your back was turned as you were bent over slightly, looking at the titles on the shelf, some familiar and others new editions to the collection.

“(Y/N)?” He gasped out, removing his gloves and coming around the counter to greet you with an embrace. He probably should have told you about his eldest out back but he was so shocked and caught up in the moment that it innocently slipped his mind. 

Straightening back up you beamed, turning around and leaning into the embrace by the older man, a second father to you in a way. He pulled back, holding you by the shoulders, as he took you in. 

“You look just as beautiful as I remember, mija,” he smiled at you, “It’s been so long, I wasn’t expecting to see you.” 

“Well I just missed this little old town… and the people in it.” You shrugged, giving him a warm smile.

“It missed you too. It was certainly a darker place without your light to warm it.” He gave you a half smile as he released his grip on your shoulders.

You felt both happiness and sadness from his comment. Knowing the phrase had a deeper meaning behind it, regarding his family, especially his oldest son. 

“I trust your parents are doing well,” he added, making small talk. EZ had mentioned how you stayed with them for a while after your departure.

“Yes, they are. And Dad’s just as stubborn as ever,” You added, giggling slightly, “He’s always working on a new project on the house even though mom insists he should just hire someone else to do the job because of his back.”

“But no one could do it as well as him,” Felipe chuckled, recalling the phrase your father and his friend would always say. 

Some things never changed.

The oh so familiar rumble of a motorcycle approaching the shop interrupted your reminiscent conversation. Your body tensed slightly as your stomach became overwhelmed with nerves. You knew you would be seeing him sooner or later you just hoped for the latter, when you would have more time to prepare yourself mentally. 

You turned around mustering a smile, the bell chiming as the door swung open. Relieved you let out the breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding. There EZ stood with a huge grin lighting up his face when he saw you.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, pulling you into a tight hug, “Why didn’t you tell me you would be in town?”

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” You answered, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, your nerves calming some but not completely.

“That it certainly was,” Felipe laughed, patting his youngest son on the shoulder. The old man was thankful for the unexpected reunion, hoping you could bring back some life to his son's lives with your return.

“It’s so good to see you,” EZ was still grinning. He was so elated to see you again and had so much stuff he wanted to do while you were here, so much to catch up on.   
“How long are you staying?”

“For good,” You said excitedly, “I found a place to rent a couple months ago, it’s small but perfect for me.” 

“Yo Pop’s what do you want me to do with this?” You heard Angel call out from the back. You turned around to face him, completely caught off guard, the sound of his voice bringing back so many memories and emotions. He just stood there staring, jaw dropped. You were surprised he didn’t drop the box and all its contents to the floor, the different items scattering about everywhere.

You knew you took him by surprise just as much as he had you.

“Hey,” you greeted softly, offering him a small smile.

In the time apart you had flourished but he had not, and that showed all over his features, his face almost looking as if it had aged way beyond the one year it had been. 

The sight pulled at the strings on your heart.

He stared at you trying to think of what to say, to muster up the courage to tell you all the things he desperately wanted to over the last year, to apologize for how badly he fucked everything up, for the pain he caused you, to beg you to give him another chance, hoping your kind heart would grant him that, hoping you hadn’t changed too much in your time apart. 

His mouth was dry and he desperately wished for just a drop of water, a drop of anything to rid him of the dreadful parched feeling.

“Hey,” he eventually managed to croak out, voice cracking. 

God his mouth was so fucking dry.


	5. Chapter 5

EZ stood there, hands crossed in front of him, as he witnessed the horribly awkward exchange between the two of you unfold, and man was it painful to watch. You had both managed out a ‘hey’ that was then followed by infinite silence and he couldn’t stand it anymore. 

“Why don’t we all go get lunch at that diner we used to go to all the time?” He offered, breaking the unbearable silence.

You snapped out of your own thoughts at EZ’s voice, “Yeah,” you smiled at him before turning your attention back to Angel, “Just like old times.”

Just like old times.

Except he knew it wasn’t just like old times and so did you, and so did his younger brother, and he didn’t think things could ever be just like old times again. 

But here you were, just like old times, and he felt that maybe just maybe they could.

“Sure, yeah, I mean if that’s what you want,” he stumbled over his words. Damn one year apart and your sudden arrival had turned him into a clumsy fool.

“Would you like to join us Felipe?” You offered as you looked at the older man.

“You kids go ahead, I’ve got some things to finish up. But do come over for dinner one of these nights,” he pulled you tight against him once more kissing the top of your head, “It’s so nice to have you back, mija.”

You smiled and gave him a peck on the cheek goodbye before addressing the Reyes’ brothers once more, “I’ll follow you there.” 

—————————————————————————————————————

At the diner you were all three sat into the corner booth you practically owned in high school, EZ and Angel facing the door and you on the other side across the seat from them. 

It had been so long since the three of you were here all together, and it was just never the same when you and Angel would come while EZ was in Stockton. Occasionally you would come with Coco too but you could always feel his absence.

The lovely waitress had brought you your menus and you were all looking through the many options intently.

Now was his chance. EZ grabbed his phone and pretended to receive a message, “Ah shit, I’m so sorry I gotta go. Bishop needs me.” He lied.

Angel put the menu down and stared at his brother with wide panicked eyes. He couldn’t leave, he needed him here to make sure he didn’t fuck things up anymore. 

“Really?” You asked, “That’s too bad.”

“You know how it is. When the club needs you you gotta go.” He said as he rose from the booth.

Angel’s panicked expression now turned into a glare towards his brother.He knew what he was doing, trying to force the two of you alone. He better watch his back because next time Angel saw him he was certainly going to kill him he thought. 

You also knew what was going on but didn’t want to make a scene plus it was quite entertaining as you watched Angel’s expression turn from fear to irritation. You held your menu up trying to hide the smile that was twitching at the corner of your lips from the brothers' antics.

“I’ll catch you guys next time,” he promised as he made his departure, quick to get out the door before Angel could say or do something to stop him.

You gathered your composure and set your menu down as you looked at Angel who was currently looking everywhere else but you.

He rubbed the back of his neck before mustering up the courage to look up at you, “We can do this another time. I mean you can go if you want.” 

You placed your hand atop his and smiled once more, the sight alone was enough to take his breath away and your touch was electric, “We’re already here, we might as well stay. Plus I’ve been craving one of Sal’s famous burgers for the longest time now.”

“Yeah, they are the best,” he grinned, feeling a little more at ease with you.

Your plates almost empty and your bellies full, you sipped on your soda as the two of you reminisced.

“Remember that time you, me, and Ezekiel got so wasted and thought it was a genius idea to come here at like two in the morning because you just had to have some fries,” Angel brought up as he reached over grabbing one of your uneaten fries.

You recalled the memory from your high school days as if it was just yesterday, seeing everything so clearly in your mind. The three of you, a mess as you tried to casually dine at the twenty four hour diner.

“Hey don’t put that all on me it was your idea to start drinking in the first place,” you reminded him, “you know you were a really bad influence.” 

“I mean what else were we supposed to do around here for fun,” he said before chomping down on the crisp fry, “but then of course Sal could tell we were drunk off our asses even though we were ‘playing’ it cool.” He chuckled.

“Yeah real cool, just three teenagers stumbling around the place giggling their asses off, not suspicious at all,” you laughed, “and then to top it off EZ hurled all over the floor.”

“And then you cried cause it got all over your brand new shoes,” he teased, the conversation feeling so effortless between the two of you.

“Hey! Those were the best shoes I have ever owned to this day!” You said defensively, thinking back on the bright green sneakers you convinced your dad to buy for you.

“But they were so ugly,” he groaned.

“They really were, they were so horrible. But fuck were they comfortable and I practically begged my father to buy me a pair I couldn’t not wear them, even though he picked out the worst color possible,” 

“I mean the vomit really only improved their appearance.”

You let out a laugh at that, before snorting, and proceeding to laugh harder. 

And there it was the most magical sound he had ever heard. He really missed that laugh and being the reason behind it.

You took a moment before catching your composure once more, “And then Sal called Marisol, I have never seen her more visibly upset I’m my life.” You recalled the terrifying moment when Marisol came into the diner that night.

“It was fuckin’ terrifying. That whole car ride home she was dead silent. I would have much rather she yelled or screamed or done something. I could have swore she was gonna kill us,” he continued on.

It really was quite scary, the three of you were squished into the back seat of the car as she drove straight on only sparing a glance now and then through the rear view. You all didn’t dare say anything. It was probably the only time Angel was ever really silent around you.

But then you remember how loving and nurturing she was when she brought you all back to their residence, and thankfully Felipe was away that weekend.

“But she didn’t. She just brought us all back to your place and tucked us in staying up all night to make sure we were all safe.” You always aspired to be like her and hoped that you made her proud. She was a big influence and role model growing up for you “She never told my parents, just took care of us, me, and of course we got a lecture the next morning but she never yelled and damn we all got so sick I think she figured that was punishment enough.” You recalled, “She really was an incredible woman.”

“That she was,” Angel smiled thinking of his mother, wishing he hadn’t been such a pain in the ass growing up.

“After that night I swore I would never drink again,”

He chuckled, “Yeah and like that lasted long.” He teased as you playfully threw your napkin at him.

Sal approached your table as the two of you laughed and joked bringing along a couple of your favorite chocolate mints she used to give out especially to you. Angel pulled out his wallet ready to pay as the old woman held up her frail hand.

“Now that won’t be necessary. Your meal is on me.” She smiled sweetly at the two of you, “It was so nice to see you two together again, laughing and in love. It reminds me so much of me and my husband. Now I better be seeing you two more often from here on out.” She ordered as she set the mints down onto the table, before hobbling away to her next table.

Angel walked you out to your car stopping just in front of you as you reached the driver’s side door. You turned around to face him, his body so close to yours you could practically feel the heat radiating off of him, “It was really nice, to catch up. I’ve missed that.” You gave him a small smile.

“Yeah, me too. It’s real good to see you again.” He scratched at the back of his head before asking, “How long will you be in town?”

“For good.”

His heart sped up at your words, he definitely wasn’t expecting to hear you say you were permanently coming back to Santo Padre. It gave him hope that he hadn’t had in a long time, the hope that maybe things could go back to the way they were.

Like old times.

“Where are you staying?” Obviously you wouldn’t be moving back in with him, at least not yet.

“I got a small place down on Birch Street,” you informed him as you tried not to notice how close he was, how desperately your body ached to reach out to him.

“That’s just a few blocks from the clubhouse,” he added, “Have you changed the locks on the place? You really should do that, I can come over some time, help you out.”

“Yeah, maybe. That would be really nice.” You agreed, appreciating his concern with your safety.

“And I’m sure the guys would all be willing to help move everything in for you. No point in doing everything yourself when there’s more than enough muscle around,” he flexed his muscles throwing you a cheesy smile.

You rolled your eyes laughing, “Yeah there certainly is, I mean especially with EZ’s jacked arms.” You teased.

He chuckled letting the comment slide off his back as he got lost in your beautiful eyes.

He was closer to you now, his body gravitating towards yours as you talked. Your back was now pressed against your car as you stared up at and into the eyes of the man you used to love, and no matter how hard you tried to get over him still did. 

He swallowed, getting lost in your eyes. Before he knew it his hand was on the other side of you resting against the car as he leaned in, bringing his lips to yours.

More than anything you wanted to kiss him, but you also knew you couldn’t just throw yourself back into his arms. He hurt you bad and it was going to take time to work through that, it wouldn’t do you or him any good to rush back into things. Before he could seal the kiss you turned your head, placing your hand on his chest, “Angel, don’t. I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.”

He looked at you and his heart sank. He really let himself believe things could just go back to the way things were, it all felt so natural, you and him belonged together. But then he remembered, how could he forget, there was another asshole in the picture.

“Is this because of that fucker Brian, Brandon, or whatever his name was,” he knew his name, it wouldn’t fucking leave his mind but he didn’t want you to know that, “Cause we both know that ain’t gonna last, querida. There’s only one man for you like there’s only one girl for me.”

He had some nerve, thinking this was because of some other person and not him. You scoffed crossing your arms, “You have no right to be upset with me being with someone else,” you snapped, you weren’t even with the guy anymore but with the way Angel was behaving you weren’t going to tell him that now, “This has nothing to do with him and everything to do with you! And yeah I truly believe there is only one man out there for me but did you ever stop to think that maybe it’s not you?!”

His hand turned to a fist against your car as he tried to keep his temper down, your words cutting through him like a knife. Did you really believe he wasn’t the one? 

“I need to go Angel. I have shit to do.” You stared him down, jaw clenched as you waited rather impatiently for him to remove himself from your car. 

He smacked his hand against the door, pushing off the car and pacing away from you running his hands through his hair. He listened as you got into the vehicle, slamming the door and peeling out of the parking lot. 

“Fuck!” He shouted as he kicked an empty can violently.

This is why he needed EZ here as a buffer, to keep him from saying more stupid shit and fucking up, again. 

He was going to kill his little brother.


	6. Chapter 6

“Not the one for her,” Angel scoffed, “Not the fuckin’ one for her?!” He was on his fourth cigarette now as he mulled over the events of the day before. 

Not the one for you.

But you were the one for him, the only one, he loved you more than anything he just had to go and find that out the hard way.

But if he loved you he should let you go, right?

No he thought, Fuck no!

No he needed you and you needed him, and he was gonna fight for you, prove to you that he was the one even if it took him until his last dying breath.

“Fuck that shit! I’ll show her I’m the only one for her,” he grumbled, his eyes burning a hole in the table as he lit up his sixth cigarette.

Gilly watched on as Angel sat across from him venting his frustrations out loud but really just trying to process his own thoughts and emotions more so than vent to his brother.

Catching EZ’s eye as he approached the table Gilly let out a reliever sigh, “I’m so fucking glad you’re here,” Gilly said as he stood up from his spot, “this is your problem now.”

“Angel?” EZ asked as he approached the table, “You okay?” He surprisingly hadn’t heard from his brother or you yesterday and had assumed everything had gone well between the two of you.

Angel snapped his head up glaring at his younger brother.

Apparently things did not go well.

“This is all your fuckin’ fault! What was that shit yesterday?! Bishop needs me,” he mocked, “No I fucking needed you! I needed you to stop the stupid shit that just comes pouring out of my mouth when I’m with her!”

“I don’t think there is any power in this world that can stop you from staying stupid shit,” EZ joked, trying to lighten the mood.

Angel’s glare intensified as he balled his fists on the table. Apparently now was not the time for jokes. 

“So I take it things didn’t go well,” EZ stated cautiously as he tried to anticipate what his brother’s next move may be. 

Angel stood from his seat swiftly as he stomped over and into his brother's face, “No things did not go well!”

EZ stood his ground as Angel hovered just in front of him, “Well maybe you shouldn’t have cheated in the first place.” He wanted the two of you to be together more than anyone but he was tired of his older brother projecting all his shit at everyone else.

“Whose side are you even on?!” Angel snapped back.

“Enough!” Bishop yelled as he came down the steps and between the two brothers, “Save that shit for the ring and get back to work!”

Angel grumbled as he shoved past EZ with his shoulder before storming off to get back to work, EZ peeling off in the opposite direction.

“Fuck someone has to do something about that,” Bishop said as he watched their El secretario, clearly about to snap and hurt himself or someone else in his distructive path.

“You gonna tell him that she’ll be coming to the party tonight?” Hank asked as he watched the younger Mayan as well.

“Hell no.” Bishop said, the last thing they needed was to poke the bear right now,“But by the end of the night they are gonna have this shit figured out one way or another.”

—————————————————————————————————————

The party was in full swing as Angel rode into the yard backing in and parking his bike in his spot. Stripping his helmet off he swung it over his handlebars as he swaggered through the crowd, giving some hugs and greeting the Mayans from other charters that had swinged in for the big party.

He made his way through all the familiar and some unfamiliar faces stopping dead in his tracks when he stepped into the clubhouse. There you were surrounded by his brothers and with a round of shots wearing a dress that barely covered enough of you to even be considered one. It was tight, showing off your body completely for all to see, and the top so low cut it highlighted your cleavage perfectly. There was very little left to the imagination and Angel hated how many other men were here, even his brothers, looking at you and certainly undressing you with their eyes. 

He knew this was for him, a way to get back at him and he was right. You held up your shot with the group of guys and made eye contact with Angel downing the shot quickly before turning your attention back to your group. 

You wanted to show him what he was missing, what he lost. And you wanted him to know that you weren’t his anymore and certainly were not his property. You could do and wear whatever you wanted and the extra attention only boosted your confidence.

Angel’s jaw clenched as he called over a hang around to bring him a beer. She brought it back dutifully and before she could leave he grabbed her arm, pulling her onto his lap. “Why don’t you stay a while,” he murmured, gaining a sly smile from the girl. 

EZ stood off to the side nursing his beer watching the two of you. He hated this, being torn between you two. He just wished you’d both just admit to each other that you still loved the other and start working your shit out like adults, especially his brother.

Bishop came up to the young Mayan patting him on the shoulder, “It’s hard on all of us, hermano. But if they’re meant to be together they’ll find their way back.” Although Bishop didn’t know the whole story he knew enough and felt your absence just as much as everyone in the club, especially when it came to Angel’s mental state the last year.

“It would really help things if Angel would just pull his head out of his ass,” EZ muttered, taking a swig of his beer.

“Yeah well that would take a miracle,” Bishop chuckled. With one last pat on the shoulder he left him to go mingle.

The girl on his lap was grinding against Angel as she kissed and nipped at his neck, but he wasn’t paying any attention to her. His eyes were only on you. 

You saw him with that girl but you chose to ignore him the best you could. You turned your back to him chatting with Creeper, Riz, and a few men from another charter. 

Angel watched as one of the men from the Stockton charter was pushing his way through the crowd, running his hand across your lower back as he squeezed past you and another person, his hand lingering just a little longer than Angel could stand. 

His temper was flared again as he pushed the girl off his lap standing to his feet. He trudged over to the man calling out, “Hey asshole!” Pulling him around by the shoulder, he swung his other fist straight into the man’s jaw, knocking him back and into a table.

The crowd parted away from the two men as the fight broke out. Angel swung another punch to the guys face,“Keep you’re fucking hands off my girl fuck face!” He spat, chest heaving from the fire within him.

Creeper pulled you back and out of harm's way as the other man got the upper hand on Angel, landing a few hits to his face. You instinctively gasped, you had seen plenty of fights, and Angel had been in plenty of them but it still didn’t keep it from catching you off guard.

“Break this shit up!” You heard Bishop call out as Gilly and Hank pulled the two men apart.

You had had enough and didn’t want to be around this or him anymore. You stormed past the crowd that had gathered and back towards the bathroom. Swinging the door open you checked to make sure it was empty before leaning against the sink, gripping at the edges until your knuckles turned white. 

Maybe it was a mistake to come back, maybe it was too soon.

Angel saw your departure and shrugged Hank off him heading towards you and leaving the mess he created behind him. The guy would get over and all would be fine. It’s not like he didn’t get a couple hits in himself. Right now he only had one thing on his mind, you.

Seeing his brother disappear in the same direction as you EZ followed behind hoping if shit went even further south he would be able to do some damage control.

Angel busted into the room startling you as you turned around to see who the intruder was. “So you're following me into the bathroom now?” You crossed your arms, staring him down once you saw it was him.

He just stared at you trying to choose his words carefully, his cheek stung and his knuckles were raw as he flexed his hand repeatedly. 

“What the hell was that even supposed to be, what did that guy even do?!” You snapped at him.

“You can’t just come in here dressed like that and expect me to just sit back and watch as other men eye you up and down. I know the vile thoughts that are running through their heads, querida.” They were certainly running through his, “That fucker had no right to lay his hands on you.”

You scoffed as you stepped closer to him, “News flash Angel I’m not your girl anymore and most certainly not your property! You made sure of that! I can do and wear and talk to and fucking screw who ever the fuck I want to and you have no right to tell me otherwise!” You yelled, “I let you run around with that mindset for far too long, that I was yours, and I was okay with that because I was young and in love and I only ever really knew how to be your girl, and I thought you were mine too!”

“I was! I was just as much yours as you were mine, that’s how relationships work! We belonged together and we still do!” He yelled back. 

“No you weren't, because if you were truly mine you wouldn’t have gone and given yourself away to another!” You screamed as you stepped up to him.

Your words stung, but he knew they held truth. This was the fight he was expecting though and he wasn’t going to back down. He loved you, only you and at the end of the day that’s all that mattered to him.

“I love you dammit! Only you! What more do you want?! I was stupid and selfish and surprise, surprise I fucked it all up!” He shouted back at you.

“You love me?” You snickered bitterly, “If you loved me then why the hell were you sitting around with that whore on your lap all night?!”

“Like you’re so fucking innocent? Flirting with practically every guy here! Why are you even here? Why’d you come back if it wasn’t to get back together?!”

“I came back because this is my home Angel! And this is my family too! I have every right to be here as you!” You yelled, your voice getting louder with every word.

“You’re the one who left in the first place!” He pointed out, meeting you in the middle of the bathroom as he looked down at you.

“And what the hell was I supposed to do?! Huh? Stay here and think about her every time I looked at you or think about how not a single one of my friends cared enough about me to tell me what was really going on?!” You screamed, “Santo Padre is a small fucking town, I couldn’t just avoid you all! I did what I had to do for me! Looked out for myself because no one else did!”

He hated how upset you were, how upset he made you. More than anything he wished he could go back in time and erase all his mistakes, save you from the pain he created, but he couldn’t. 

He just needed to shut you up. So he could prove to you how much he loved you, so he did the only thing he could think of.

Leaning down he swiftly grabbed your face and kissed you hungrily. He had been thinking of this moment forever, when he could finally have his lips on yours again, hold you again but his fantasy was cut short as your palm slapped straight into the side of his face, again, hitting him in his already tender jaw. Breaking the kiss with a hiss he rolled his jaw as his eyes darkened, “Is this gonna be becoming a fuckin’ habit?”

You smacked his chest, then pushed him back once, then twice, before his back collided with the wall of the small bathroom. Maybe it was the alcohol, or the anger, or the intense sexual tension between you two but all rational thoughts went out the window as you grabbed him by the cut pulling him close and kissing him harshly, biting down on his lower lip, tasting the metallic taste of blood from the previous scuffle or your teeth in his flesh, you weren’t sure.

You were sick of the fighting and screaming, all the pain and longing for the other. You just wanted to feel something, anything else. You wanted to feel his hands on you again, lips against your skin, filling you up. 

There was only one man who knew your body inside and out, who could make you squirm and cry out in pleasure, feel nothing but bliss, and that’s all you craved right now.

Grabbing your hips roughly he pushed you back into the sink lifting you up and onto the edge of the porcelain surface. Pulling away he smirked at you as you shimmied out of your panties and stuffed them into his front pocket, all while never breaking eye contact with him, your lips slightly swollen from the harsh kiss.

Fuck he could hardly contain himself. This was a new side of you he hadn’t seen and he was getting unbearably hard. With one hand he spread your legs open and the other began working at his belt buckle ready to be inside you once more, he needed you more than he ever needed anything. 

You grabbed the wrist of his hand that was working on his pants stopping him in his actions. Licking your lips you shook your head and pushed down on his shoulders, your own eyes growing dark with lust. 

Smirking he bit his lip as he fell to his knees obediently. He was really fucking loving this side of you. 

He spread you open further before running two fingers between your folds groaning at how wet you were. He pulled his fingers back sucking them into his mouth as he stared up at you, kneeling before you like the queen you were. 

Licking his lips he took hold behind your knees pulling his attention back to your sweet center. He drug you further on the edge of the sink, settling his face between your thighs. 

You gasped at the contact grasping the edge of the sink top and gripping his hair with the other hand, pulling roughly as he slipped two fingers into you, you yanked his hair harshly, earning a deep growl from him, almost sending you over the edge. 

Your moans were muffled to him by your thighs squeezing against his head, but he could tell by each shudder and twitch of your body that he was working you just as well as he had in the past. 

Some things never changed. He knew your body like it was his own, maybe even better than you did.

—————————————————————————————————————

EZ was outside the bathroom listening to the two of you scream at each other when Coco came walking his way. Holding his arm out he stopped him in his tracks, “I wouldn’t go in there.” He warned, “They’ve been yelling and fighting and I’m really hoping they will work this shit out here and now.”

“It’s seems awfully fuckin’ quiet in there to me boy scout.” Coco stated as he couldn’t hear any of what the former prospect was describing, “You think she killed him?”

“Shit I hope not,” EZ replied, furrowing his eyebrows, wondering exactly how long the two of you had been quiet as he must have zoned out as he waited.

They sat there for a while trying to decide what they should do when they heard a shattering noise from the bathroom. EZ and Coco exchanged a glance before silently agreeing they should intervene and investigate. Stepping up to the door Coco grabbed the handle and opened the door slowly discovering the exact reason why the yelling had stopped.

You were sat on the sink dress pushed up with your legs wrapped around Angel’s waist, face buried into his shoulder, biting his cut to muffle your cries and moans as he pounded into your roughly, pants around his ankles, and arm bracing himself against the wall behind you. The only sounds coming from him being hushed curses, moans and grunts.

The source of the sound they heard was the ceramic soap dispenser now in pieces on the hard ground from you knocking it off the sink in your tumble together.

Coco closed the door, shutting it quietly as he turned to EZ who’s concerned look was now a smirk as he put the pieces together.

“Well they’re working somethin’ out,” Coco chuckled as he stepped away from the door and leaned back against the wall opposite it to wait for the two of you to finish fucking.

Angel pulled out of you panting heavily as he pulled his pants up and leaned back against the wall, looking you up and down as he licked his lips. God he missed you, he hadn’t realized how homesick he was until now. 

You were his home. Not Santo Padre, not the club, you. And he would do anything to have you as his again.

Hopping off the counter you wet a paper towel cleaning yourself up before pulling your tight dress back down your legs. You silently checked your reflection as you ignored the eyes on you and touched up your makeup wiping away any smudges before running your fingers through your hair smoothing out the mess it had become. With one last adjustment to your chest you resituated your top and took one more look in the mirror before heading for the door.

“Where the fuck are you going?” Angel asked, still breathless as he leaned further back into the wall for support.

Without a word you walked out the door leaving him speechless. Did he really just get used like a piece of fucking meat?

As you exited the room you were met by the prying eyes of EZ and Coco, “Not, a word,” you warned as by the looks on their faces you were sure they knew exactly what happened in there. They both held their hands up in surrender and you gave them a nod before strutting past them pulling your dress down just a little more before making your way back into the crowd of the party.

Shortly after Angel stepped out the door as he finished buckling his belt, also met by the two Mayans who were waiting on the other side.

“Shut the fuck up,” he said as he shook his head at the two snickering men. 

“I didn’t fuckin’ say shit,” Coco said as he grinned at his best friend, giving him a look. 

“So are you guys good now or...?” EZ trailed off as he stood up from his leaned back position against the wall stepping closer to his brother. Hoping the answer was yes but knowing it would probably take a lot more than a quick rendezvous in the bathroom.

“I have no fuckin’ clue, hermano,” Angel said, patting EZ’s shoulder as he stepped past him and headed down the hallway.

He did know one thing however, and that was you were most certainly not the same girl you were a year ago.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y’all! I hope you are enjoying this story still! I’ve added a new character, Matt, who I took inspiration for from Jon Bernthal. I’ve got so many plans and ideas for this story and I’m so excited to share them all with you! Much love and thanks so much for reading!

“Thanks again so much for coming over to help me out,” You said as you brought a cold one out to EZ and sat down next to him on your back steps. He, Coco, and Gilly all came over early in the morning to help you move your furniture into your new place. You had been sleeping on a mattress on the floor and were so ready to have a bed again. Coco and Gilly had to go in to work but EZ was able to stay just a little longer, “And thank you for not saying anything to Angel. I’m just not quite ready to see him again just yet.”

You had been avoiding Angel the last few days after the party, hoping to delay whatever confrontation that would be coming. It was a mistake and in the heat of the moment, a moment of weakness you were telling yourself.

EZ took a sip of his beer before looking over at you, “You know he’s gonna be there tonight at dinner, you won’t be able to avoid him forever.”

Felipe had invited you over to his place for a family dinner, like you used to have and although you were excited, it was another reason you were avoiding Angel. You knew it would only be so long until you had to face him. 

No matter what you did, the two of you would always be intertwined, forever connected in some way.

“I will behave myself,” you said, taking a drink of your own beer, “It’s your brother who you should be worried about.”

“I know,” he said, staring out into your yard at the fence in the back that was hidden by rose bushes, “Where are you at, with all that?” He asked regarding the state of yours and Angel’s relationship. He knew for the most part where his brother’s head was at but he wanted to know where yours was. 

“I don’t know,” you sighed, picking at the label on the glass bottle in your hands, “I thought I was ready. I thought a year away would be enough time. They say time heals all your wounds and all that shit,” you chuckled bitterly, “But just being back drags everything back up. Running away wasn’t enough.”

You looked up at the rose bushes as well, so beautiful and so dangerous.

You took a deep breath, “You know when we were at the diner everything seemed so perfect, like nothing had happened between us. For a moment all the pain, the infidelity, the insecurities, all disappeared. It was just us and it really felt like everything was going to be okay again. But then Angel was well, Angel.” You returned your gaze to your bottle, the glass starting to sweat from the heat outside making your hands wet. “He tried to kiss me and got upset when I shut him down, but I couldn’t just throw myself back into his arms, you know?”

“But you slept with him.” EZ stated plainly.

You looked up and over at him, shocked. Of all the people you didn’t think he would throw that in your face, “Whose side are you even on?”

Fuck, where had he heard that before? EZ sighed, he wasn’t trying to offend you, he knew what his brother did was unforgivable and the relationship between the two of you, even now the three of you was going to be complicated. “I’m on the side where the both of you are happy, however that may look.” He said honestly. He meant every word. He was tired of all the pain the two of you were going through and just wanted the people he was closest to to be happy again.

“I’m sorry,” you said leaning your head against your shoulder, “Thank you EZ, out of everyone you’ve been there for me the most.”

“I always will,” He said, laying his head down against yours, “Whatever you need, I will be here for you.”

“Careful what you promise Ezekial,” you teased, “I might just hold that against you some day.”

—————————————————————————————————————

“(Y/N)!” Elijah,your former four year old neighbor, nope five now, from when you lived with Angel exclaimed as he ran into the carniceria followed by his father, “I’ve missed you so much! The new babysitter is so not as cool as you!”

You had been picking up shifts again for Felipe now that you were back and he was happy to have the help. With EZ and Angel in the club they didn’t have as much time to stop in and lend a hand as often, and frankly Felipe preferred you more over them anyways. 

With you you brought a sense of lightness into the atmosphere of the shop, lifting the spirits of almost anyone who entered. 

A trait his precious Marisol had possessed. 

You laughed, tossing your gloves into the trash as you made your way around the corner, the boy throwing his arms around you tightly.

“I’ve missed you too!” You cooed, holding the boys head tight to you. Looking up you smiled at his father, “But you know we talked on the phone all the time.” 

“I know, but it’s not the same,” he pouted as he pulled away, flashing those puppy dog eyes and pouty lip, “Do you think you could babysit me again? Please!” He held his hands up clasped together as he looked up at you. 

“Of course,” you replied ruffling his hair, “Now I’m sure you didn’t come all this way just to beg me to babysit again” You looked over to his father, Noah.“What can I get you?”

“Well, what would you suggest? I trust your judgment better than my own,” he chuckled, stepping up to the counter to look at the cuts of meat. 

“Well it depends. What are we shopping for?” You inquired stepping beside him, Elijah attached to your hip now. 

“We need a good roast. My parents are coming to visit.” He said, “Gonna help me out for a bit with the little guy.”

You smiled looking into the case and thinking of the right one, “Ooh we have a really good chuck roast, all wrapped up and ready to go. Someone was supposed to come pick it up but canceled on their order.” 

Elijah released you as you stepped back behind the counter and pulled out the previously wrapped roast you had mentioned. You walked back around as Noah pulled out his wallet.

“No,” you held up your hand extending the roast out to him, “It’s on me,” you insisted, smiling. 

Noah was a single father and you knew money was tight, had heard about how the factory he was working at cut his hours. He always lent you a hand with any repairs on your place when Angel was away on runs and you wanted to pay it forward, to help your fellow neighbor when they were in need, something Marisol was always good about doing. 

“I can’t take that,” he started to protest. 

“Please, I insist,” you said softly, placing the roast into his hands, “You’ve helped me more times than I can count, let me do this for you.” 

“Thank you,” he said earnestly, pulling you into a hug. A little kindness could go a long way for someone who was desperately needing it. 

“All I ask is that I get to spend the day with Elijah here,” you grinned down at the boy who clung to you once more, “Anytime you need someone to watch him, even if it’s just for break for a few hours, I’m here.” You looked into Noah’s eyes and could see his gratitude. 

He gave you a small smile before addressing his son, “Alright buddy. Give (Y/N) a hug goodbye. We gotta get going.”

The boy wrapped his arms once more tightly around you his voice muffled, “Byee! See you next time!” 

He pulled away getting ready to leave, “Wait one more thing,” you said spinning around and grabbing a sucker out of a little cup behind the counter, “Here,” you leaned over extending it out to the boy. 

“Mystery flavor!” He yelled excitedly, “You remembered my favorite?”

“Of course I did!” You exclaimed beaming at the innocent little one.

The bell on the front door chimed just as you straightened up, the father and son saying thank you once more before slipping past the man who had held the door open for them as they exited, the sucker immediately in Elijah’s mouth. You looked over and met eyes with an unfamiliar man as he stepped into the small shop. He was tall and broad, a baseball cap atop his head, and his eyes were kind. 

“How can I help you?” You asked, giving him a smile, returning back to your place behind the counter, “You must be new to town.” You added. You knew practically everyone in town so he had to either be new or at least new since you had left Santo Padre. 

“Is it really that obvious?” He asked as he tilted his head a smile playing at his lips, “I just moved here, for work.” 

You smiled, “A little, but in your defense I spent my whole life here so I kind of know everyone.” You chuckled. He stuck his hands in his pocket stepping up closer to the counter as you continued, “ I guess in a way I’m a little new too. (Y/N),” you introduced yourself. 

“Matt,” he said simply with a smile, “You spent your whole life here, (Y/N)” He loved the sound of your name, a perfect fit for you he thought, “but you’re also new?” 

“I just got back, had to get away for a while.” Your smile faded as you thought back on the events. Tucking a stray strand of hair you looked down. 

“And now you’re back,” he interrupted your thoughts catching your attention once more, “Must be a pretty great place.”

“It’s home,” your smile returned, stealing a glance through the window at the shops and people on main, “But it’s not the place, it’s the people.” 

“Yeah?” He smirked, “So I take it you know a lot about the place, the people.” He remarked, “Maybe you could help a new guy out? Show me around, give me the lay of the land.” He liked you, a lot. He could tell you were a good person, the encounter with the family before him was proof of that, and you intrigued him. He wanted to get to know you better and was hoping you’d take him up on the offer. 

And damn were you one of the most beautiful women he had laid eyes on, but that was just a bonus. 

“Sure,” you replied,“I’m actually going to be clocking out soon, I’m just waiting for the owner to relieve me, we can start then, if you have nowhere to be of course.” You liked this man, he seemed genuine and good. And having another friend outside of the club, and the drama of your life sounded like just what you needed.

“Not anywhere that would be better than this.”

You looked down, smiling to yourself before you looked back up, “Or we can start now. See that shop down the street?” You asked pointing past him to the small bridal shop across the way, “That’s Ms. Rodriguez place. She has six kids, four boys and two girls, all out of school, and four grandkids now. Raised them all on her own, incredible woman. She’s made every single prom, formal, and homecoming dress I’ve had growing up and one day when I get married she’s gonna be the one to design that dress. I refuse to let anyone else do the honors and she’s already promised me and has shown me some sketches, all gorgeous.” You grinned leaning down on the counter, closer to him.

He listened intently, looking over at you every now and then as your focus was on the topic at hand staring out the window. He couldn't help but smile, your passion and enthusiasm for your community showing clearly. He could see how compassionate and caring you were, a ray of sunshine shining brightly for all to see. 

“And there,” you pointed and his eyes followed to the grayish building next to the colorful dress shop, “That’s Mr. Garcia’s bakery. He makes the best scones, in practically every flavor you could want. You can’t not buy one.” You continued thinking of all the times you had stopped into the small shop buying a scone and even getting enough to take to the clubhouse, “And at the end of the day everything that he can't sell he takes to the nearest homeless shelter. He’s always giving back, thinking of others.” There were more than one occasions when you would go with the older gentlemen to deliver the goods. It was one of the things you and EZ used to do in high school as part of your community services. 

“What about him?” Matt asked pointing to an older gentleman sitting outside with his dog, “I've noticed him there everyday.”

“That’s Javier” you explained, “He seems innocent enough but dont let him sucker you into a game of cards, he’s a cheat.” You advised, “He’ll clean you out of every last penny.” You chuckled remembering when he suckered Angel into a game just after you graduated. Angel was just as cocky back then as he was now and thought he could outplay the old man, he lost nearly all his money that day. “He likes to prey on the tourists, they’re easy targets.”

“Thanks for the heads up. I’ll steer clear of him.” He said, still grinning from the pleasant exchange.

“But Lucy’s sweet,” you added talking about Javier’s golden retriever, “Unfortunately that’s how he reels them in.” You chuckled lightly.

“Oh, and the barbershop just there,” you pointed in the other direction, “You’re gonna wanna go there if you ever need a haircut. Jane gives the best damn haircuts for a reasonable price. You won’t find a better place around here.” Almost every guy you knew went to Jane, including everyone in the MC, those guys were particularly picky about their hair. “But you’ll have to make an appointment in advance. She’s in very high demand.”

He nodded taking in every word you were saying, all the names and advice you were bestowing upon him.

“And then the flower shop next door, Victoria always has the best selection,” you added when you spotted your favorite shop in town next to the barber shop, “I absolutely love the gardenias.”

You continued on, getting lost in your memories of all the people you held most dear to you, the people you so desperately missed without realizing. It's always the little things that mattered most.

What you didn’t know is that’s how Matt felt too, that it’s the little things, and he was taking in every little detail about the town, most importantly about you that you hadn’t even realized you were giving. 

“You’re forgetting one,” Felipe’s voice sounded stepping out from the back, you were so caught up in your conversation you didn’t even hear him come in.

“Right, yes.” You grinned over at him, “The best butcher shop in town, Carniceria Reyes,” you sang turning your attention back to Matt for your sales pitch, “Local family business owned by none other than Felipe Reyes himself,” you motioned over to Felipe, “Best cuts of meat at a price you can’t beat.” You sent a wink Felipe’s way.

“And that’s why I have her here,” he chuckled, extending his hand out to Matt introducing himself. 

“Matt,” he introduced, shaking Felipe’s hand firmly, “You have excellent help here,” he smiled over at you, “And a nice looking place.”

“Gracias,” he thanked him. Turning to you he said, “Now go, enjoy the rest of your afternoon.” Felipe was so happy to see you smiling and full of life again, and with what you had coming he wanted you to soak it in as much as possible, “I’ll see you tonight, mija.”

You slipped your apron off, hanging it up on the hook in the back and grabbed your purse, “Eight o’clock, right?” You verified the time of your dinner plans.

Felipe nodded as you pulled him into a farewell hug and kissed his cheek, “I’ll see you then.” 

“Shall we continue on our tour?” You asked Matt, smiling, “I did promise to give you the lay of the land.”

“Definitely,” he replied following you out the door as you stepped past him, “I can’t wait to hear about everyone else.”

Exiting the carniceria you walked down the sidewalk, Matt following beside you, “Mija?” He brought up what Felipe called you earlier, “Are you the daughter?”

“He’s family, but no I’m not his daughter, at least not in that sense,” you clarified as you walked side by side, “I grew up with his sons, he’s practically a second father to me. His oldest, Angel and I fell in love, we were together for eight years.” 

“Were?” That was a long time to be in a relationship and he was curious as to what must have happened, and if that connected in any way to your absence in the small town.

“Yeah, he uh,” you started trying to think of how to say it and how much to share, “He fell for another. That's why I had to get away for a bit. Start fresh.” You decided on staring down at your shoes while you walked.

His heart broke for you, only able to imagine how that must feel, giving yourself to someone for so long only to be crushed like that. He didn’t even know this Angel guy but he didn’t like him,“He’s a fool to have let you slip through his hands like that,” He could hear the pain in your voice and even though he hadn’t met this guy it infuriated him to know that someone would disrespect you and take advantage of your love. If there was one thing that really pissed him off it was a cheater. To give yourself to someone for eight years only to have your heart crushed like that, but also hold yourself up and still shine brightly only enhanced his conclusion that you were an amazing woman. “If you were my woman, I’d never disrespect you like that. I'd hang on for dear life and never let you slip from my grasp."

You smiled down at your shoes a moment before looking up as you heard the familiar sound of motorcycles riding down the street. You made eye contact with Angel as you continued walking. Shaking yourself out of it you turned back to Matt, “Just down here’s the hardware store, we can’t forget that one.”

Angel’s heart sank when he saw you walking down the street with another man, just days after the party, days after you fucked him. 

He pulled up in front of his father’s shop with EZ and practically slammed the door on his way into the shop. He knew you were just here helping his father and whoever you were with must have been here too.

“Who the fuck is that with (Y/N)!” He asked his father. How could he let you just walk out of his place with another man?

EZ came in just behind Angel, also curious who the man was.

“Nice to see you too, mijo.” Felipe said, back turned as he finished wrapping up a cut of meat for the customer who was waiting at the counter. He handed the package to the woman with a smile, taking her cash and watched as she exited his shop. He looked to his boys, “His name is Matt.”

“Matt?” Angel snarked, shaking his head, “Matt. What kind of fuckin’ name is Matt? Sounds like a fuckin’ douchebag’s name to me.”

“Angel!” Felipe scolded his oldest.

“What? I’m just saying.” He defended himself. You couldn’t be hanging out with some guy named Matt. 

Seeing you with another was so much worse than just imagining it, so much more painful. 

“I know you’re hurting, but she is too.” Felipe reminded him. It was like no one was going to let him live down his greatest fuck up yet, “I need you to shove all that shit aside. She’s coming to dinner and she’s gonna need you, no matter how bad you hurt her. It’s time she knows the truth of what happened to your mother.” He looked between his boys, Angel hung his head as EZ stared back at Felipe, “She deserves that closure just as much as the rest of us.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all your love and support. Without you amazing people we wouldn’t be where we are so thank you so much and much love to you all. I hope you enjoy :)

Parking behind EZ’s bike you noticed no other vehicles or bikes, specifically Angel’s around and let out a sigh of relief. He would be here eventually but for now you were thankful that you would have some time with just EZ to help calm your nerves before facing Angel. Felipe’s truck was also missing and you figured he must have gone out for something. 

You were early.

Shutting your door and clicking the key fob until your car honked signaling it was locked you walked up the walkway, climbing the steps and then entering the home as you had so many times in the past. 

“Hello,” You called out as you hung your purse on the hook by the door. You didn’t get a response so you assumed EZ must be out back. Making your way through the house and into the kitchen you opened the fridge setting the tray of blueberry bars you had made for desert on the lowest shelf. 

Turning back around you looked over at the urn for Marisol, so beautiful. There was a pang in your chest every time you saw it but you knew having her close was good for Felipe. It was sweet how he still talked to her everyday. They had the kind of love that was everlasting, the kind of love you were so sure you and Angel had possessed as well. 

Stepping over to her you kissed your fingers before placing them gently onto the cool surface, “Hey Marisol,” you murmured, “I’m sorry it’s been so long.”

The sound of the back screen door sliding open caught your attention. You gingerly moved your hand and smiled. Stepping out of the kitchen and into the living room you turned the corner expecting to find EZ but ended up finding Angel instead, your smile faltering,“I thought you were EZ. Where’s your bike?”

He stepped into the room with you, hands in his pockets, “It’s getting some work done. Pops and EZ had to run to the shop and pick up some shit.”

Great, it was just the two of you. You gave him a nod in understanding, not sure what else to say or do.

“So are we gonna talk about it?” He asked breaking the silence, “Or are we just gonna act like whatever that was at the clubhouse didn’t happen?” He knew this may not be the best time but he wasn’t gonna just drop it like it never happened. And no one was here to stop him.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” you replied bluntly.

“Really? Cause I got a whole lot I could say.” He said sauntering closer to you.

“It was a mistake.”

“You can’t tell me you don’t want it to happen again,” His cologne mixed with the scent of nicotine surrounded you making your knees weak, “You can’t tell me you didn’t enjoy every moment of it. The way my tongue ate you up, my fingers curling inside you. God you tasted so good,” he groaned, getting closer with each word, “You can’t tell me you don’t want me filling you up again, to feel my seed seeping out of you. I know your body aches for mine just as mine for yours, querida.”

“Come any closer Angel and I swear to god I will slap you again,” You warned. If he came any closer you were afraid your body would betray you and you couldn’t have that. You wouldn’t give him that satisfaction.

“Well considering what happened last time I wouldn’t be opposed,” he knew he was being cocky, he knew he was pushing it, but just earlier you were hanging around with another guy and it was driving him crazy ever since he saw you together. But you and him had history, he had the upper hand and he wasn’t gonna let that slip through his fingers. 

And part of him was also pushing all the emotional baggage that was to be unleashed to the back of his mind the only way he knew how. 

“It was a mistake,” you repeated, “It’s never happening again,” 

“Really? You don’t even want to just fuckin’ use me again to get off?” He said, voice low and gruff, “You at least want these back, don’t you?” Pulling your panties out of the pocket of his cut he dangled the green lacy fabric in front of you, a smirk splayed across his face.

You snatched them out of his hand, glaring at him, “Yes, I do.” 

“I washed them, in case you care.” He said nonchalantly. The sound of Felipe’s truck alerted the two of you to the rest of your party’s arrival. You were so relieved and quickly shoved the article of clothing into your purse before the men entered your home. 

EZ stepped through the door first, greeting you with a grin, “You’re early.” He commented. He was hoping they’d be back before you so you wouldn’t be left alone with Angel but he should have known you’d be early. He could feel the tension in the room and hoped Angel hadn’t done too much damage. 

Smiling at the two men you gave them each a hug and a kiss on the cheek, “Here I’ll get those,” you told EZ taking the bag from his hands and following Felipe to the kitchen, “I made some blueberry bars for desert.” You said.

Felipe smiled, leading you out the back with him, “Sounds delicious, mija.”

EZ turned his attention to his brother who was leaning his shoulder against the wall, “What did you do?”

“Nothing,” Angel shrugged off his brother's accusation, heading in the direction you and his father disappeared off to. 

EZ caught his shoulder before he could get far, keeping him back a minute, “Look I know you've been caught up on that Matt guy, but tonight is not the night Angel. You wanted me to help keep you from saying stupid shit? Well then you have to listen to me.”

He hated having to listen to his little brother, but he knew he was right. Tonight was not the night, “Alright, what do you got baby bro?”

“Well,” he started, “How about every time you feel like saying some asinine shit you take a bite of food. Keep that mouth of yours occupied.” EZ grinned at him.

“That sounds like a stupid fuckin’ idea.” 

“Well please, by all means do it your way if you don’t like my idea. But if you want her back I’d listen to me.” EZ wanted to do whatever it took to keep the peace tonight, to have somewhat of an enjoyable meal before they shattered your world around you.

“Alright.” Angel gave in walking past his brother and grabbing some beers out of the fridge before joining you out back.

The four of you sat around the small table enjoying your steak dinner, Angel and Felipe on the ends with EZ next to Angel and you Felipe. The four of you chatted casually, you, Felipe, and EZ more than Angel about everyday things such as how the carniceria was doing, the new business opening down the street, and all the things the people you grew up with had been up to in your time away.

Angel listened as you talked animatedly, getting lost in your words and the sound of your voice. Still he couldn’t stop thinking about that damn man named Matt. You were with him this afternoon for god knows how long and the image of the two of you walking together wouldn’t leave his mind. It was driving him insane before he knew if he was blurting out, “So how was your date with Matt?”

EZ shot Angel a look, a silent exchange happening between the brothers.

‘What the fuck? I told you to keep your mouth shut.’

‘What, it’s an innocent question’

Everything was going so well. 

“You’ve met him?” You asked, as far as you knew he only ever saw him when you were walking together, unless of course he asked Felipe about him. 

“Nope.” 

“Well first of all it wasn’t a date, I was just helping him out, he’s new to town. I was just doing the neighborly thing,” you explained taking a bite of your mashed potatoes. 

Yeah sure, Angel thought. That’s a perfect excuse to get a girl to spend time with you and the perfect way to take advantage of a good person such as yourself. 

“He’s actually very nice,” you went on talking about the man you had just met earlier in the day. You really liked Matt, he was kind and funny, easy to talk to. “He’s working mostly across the border, a former Marine.” 

Of course he was. Angel was going to comment but EZ’s stare bored into him so instead he took a bite of his food, as suggested by his younger brother. 

“Oh and he has this adorable pit bull he rescued from a dog fighting ring,” You commented. He had shown you a picture of the sweet girl, “Her name is Violet.”

Well isn’t he just a fucking hero, another bite was shoved into Angel’s mouth as he really started to regret bringing him up. 

You continued to talk about your afternoon with Matt just getting lost in the excitement of a new face in town, a new friend. You weren’t trying to make Angel jealous or even rub it in his face, you were just genuinely happy and didn’t even think of Matt in any other capacity than as a friend. 

Still Angel was jealous, more importantly he was threatened by this seemingly flawless man who was now in your life. He didn’t trust the guy and he was afraid he’d win you over, taking you away from him forever.

You finished your meals and had gathered up the dishes insisting you’d wash them, EZ being your dryer. EZ put away the last plate exchanging a look with his brother and Pops. 

They knew they couldn’t put it off forever but still none of them wanted to re-live the pain and none of them wanted to put you through it again as well. All in all it was an awful situation. 

“I had a really great time, missed this.” You said drying your hands off on a towel, back to the three men, a smile on your face. “Thank you.” Turning around you looked at the three Reyes’ men, your smile falling as the atmosphere around you had completely changed, “What is it? What’s going on?”

“We have something we need to tell you, mija.” Felipe said, taking charge of the situation. His family was in this mess because of him, he should be the one to lead, to start the difficult conversation.

“Okay,” you said. Your heart sped up as your anxiety increased, a million things running through your mind. Whatever it was you knew it was really bad. 

“It’s about Mom,” Angel said, meeting your eyes. 

Now you knew it was really, really bad. 

“Why don’t we go to the living room,” Felipe suggested, “This will be best if you’re sitting.” 

You followed Felipe and EZ into the living room, Angel bringing up the back. Sitting on the sofa Angel sat down next to you. You looked over at EZ leaning against the wall, hands folded in front of him and then to Angel, before looking back to Felipe.

The faces of the men around you were somber. You tried to mentally prepare you for what was to come, but nothing could have prepared you for what you were about to hear. 

“Before we were Felipe and Marisol Reyes we were Ignacio and Isabela. I was working for the División Antidrogas Federales and on the Galindo Cartel’s payroll.” Felipe started, as he sat on the chair in front of you. “I had an affair with Dita Galindo, I feared for our safety so we changed our names and fled to Santo Padre, California.”

“That’s why Marisol was killed,” Felipe stated, trying to keep his composure, “Because of me.” His voice cracked.

It was as if the world stopped spinning as everything slowed down around you. The voices of the three men surrounded you, muffled as if you were trapped underwater, morphing together into one indistinguishable voice. 

The ticking of the clock was deafening, the usually easily ignored sound now the soundtrack to such a horrible moment in time.

Tick

“Dita Galindo put out a hit on Mom and Pops.”

Tock

“We tracked down the man, Happy. EZ remembered him from that night, recognized him at one of the club’s parties.”

Tick

“He gave us what we needed which led us back to Galindo.”

Tock

“Emily filled in the rest, was able to get proof of the payments, all there and all signed by Dita Galindo.”

Tick

Your heart ached in your chest, heavy and desperate to claw its way out. The pain so intense you wanted to scream, to cry, to do anything. 

But you didn’t, you couldn’t. 

You just sat there in silence staring off, sitting with the unbearable agony that consumed you on the inside. 

Tock

Their eyes were all on you, waiting for you to say something, to show them something, but you gave them nothing. Your gaze was fixed on the dent in the wall across from you, a remnant of the life lived here in this home, the love shared within the walls, the pain confined in the small space, forever. 

The exact moment the blemish was created played vividly in your mind, as if it was playing out in front of you before your eyes.

The three of you, Angel, EZ, and yourself, were running around the living room playing tag. The California heat was a record high that day so you were forced to spend your time together inside, instead of outside like the three of you much preferred. 

Marisol was in the kitchen baking cookies, the smell filling the home, the sweet scent clear as day in your mind. 

Angel and EZ began fighting, arguing who was it, as they started shoving one another. You watched as younger you tried to get between the two, to break up the fight, but you just ended up in the shoving match. 

Before you could stop it the three children tumbled down together crashing into the wall resulting in the dent that was never mended. 

A hand landed on your thigh pulling your attention away from the scene. Looking down you examined the familiar hand, large and rough with rings adorning the long fingers, unfamiliar scaring across the knuckles. Your gaze wandered upwards tracing the Mayans ink across his skin and then all the way up to his face, meeting the familiar deep brown orbs.

“Mi dulce?” His voice finally sounded out to you. The Reyes’ men had been trying to get your attention for some time now, but it was Angel’s touch that had brought you back. 

“Hmm?” You asked, not able to form words.

“Why don’t you take her home, son.” Felipe suggested to his eldest, “It’s been a long night.” 

Angel nodded standing up from the couch, extending his hand out and lifting you to your feet. You followed him as he grabbed your purse off the hook by the door and fished your keys out of the inside pocket you always kept them in. Your body followed Angel as if by its own volition, your mind feeling numb as the aching in your chest wouldn’t subside.

He opened the door for you, giving his Pops and brother a nod goodbye before heading out the door. Following behind you silently he unlocked the vehicle just as you got to the passenger side. 

Slipping into the driver seat he turned the ignition on before stealing a glance at you. Your face was turned away staring out the window and his heart broke. He didn’t know how to help you, wasn’t sure what was running through your mind. 

He hated this feeling of helplessness. Hated not knowing how to ease your pain, how to ease his own. Before he’d scoop you into his arms, holding you until it all faded away and only love remained, but now everything was different, you were different, and the silence was killing him.

You pulled up in front of your house and followed Angel up the steps waiting behind him as he flipped through your keys until finding the right one and unlocking the door. Holding it open for you he carefully watched as you made your way into the home, dropping your purse on the ground beside you. 

The crushing weight was suffocating, you wanted to ask Angel to stay, to hold you and make it all go away but you couldn’t find the words so you just stood there as he stood in the doorway behind you watching. 

He longed to hold you, was waiting for you to tell him what to do, but you wouldn’t. He decided to make the first move, not caring about all the shit between you two. All that mattered was here and now. And even if you wouldn’t admit it out loud you needed him and he needed you. 

He closed the door behind him, the only light in the house illuminating through the curtains from the moon outside and onto your skin. Placing one hand on your shoulder he pulled you around to face him. His eyes welled with tears as he looked into yours, so lost and broken. He ran his hand instinctively down the side of your face, such a small intimate moment before pulling you tightly to his chest and holding you there in his strong arms. 

That was all it took for the floodgates to finally open. Violent sobs wrecked your body as you clutched onto his back, holding him just as much as he held you, the built up anguish finally vacating your body. 

Angel nuzzled his face into your neck, his own tears flowing now as the two of you stood in your embrace, clinging onto each other as a lifeline, like you had in the past.

“Tell me what you need,” his voice was hoarse as he mustered out the words.

“Don’t leave me.” You couldn’t bear the thought of being alone right now. You wanted the familiar comfort that only Angel could provide you with.

“Okay.”

Pulling away from the embrace you wiped at your face, “I’m gonna shower,” you said your throat and voice scratchy. 

He nodded following behind you as you made your way to the bedroom, turning the hallway light on to illuminate the way. He stepped into the bedroom with you and sat at the foot of your bed, watching you disappear behind the bathroom door connected to the room and listening as the shower turned on from the other side.

He wanted to join you but he didn’t want to push it, so instead he leaned down untying his boots, kicking them off and placing them nicely by the bed. Slipping his cut off and unbuttoning his shirt he stripped the article of clothing off and set them atop the dresser before walking over to your nightstand where he noticed a gold picture frame. Picking it up he smiled as he looked at the photo of you, EZ, and him sitting around a campfire laughing. 

“That was a good day,” your voice startled him. You had just walked out dressed in your pajamas as you padded over to him.

“One of the best.” He replied, turning to look at you. Your eyes were puffy and you looked so very tired. “Now what?” He asked. He just wanted to do whatever it was that you wanted, whatever was needed of him to help you through this. 

“Hold me?” 

Nodding he set the picture back down in its place and walked around the bed to the other side. Shedding his jeans before pulling back the covers he crawled into your bed, arms open for you to join him.

Slipping under the covers and into his arms you snuggled close to his chest, his arms wrapping tightly around you once more. You stayed there for a moment in silence, just being there for the other.

“I’m sorry,” Your voice was hushed, just barely above a whisper as you stared into the dark.

“What for?” His tone matched that of yours as he tilted his head to look at you. He couldn’t fathom what on earth you’d be apologizing for.

“For not being here for Felipe, EZ,” you tilted your head up to look back at him, “you.”

He shook his head, “That’s not on you, mi dulce.” He kissed your forehead rubbing his hand up and down your back. 

That was on him. 

Even so you couldn’t shake the guilt you felt. Leaving your family to uncover such horrible truths alone, leaving Angel alone.

“I heard about what happened to Dita Galindo,” you mentioned, remembering you had seen the news while you were away. You ran your thumb back and forth against his bare chest, the little movement of your skin on his bringing you some comfort, “That was you?”

Angel’s heart broke even more if that was possible. They had told you that but you must have still been processing everything, the shock hit you hard, “Mmhmm,” he replied, “That was us.”

You nodded your head gently against his chest, still trying to wrap your mind around the last few hours. The ache returned to your chest as you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to keep the pain and tears at bay.

Angel felt your body begin to shake again. Holding you tighter he nuzzled his face closer to yours, shushing you, “It’s okay, it will all be okay.” His voice broke, betraying him. He was trying so hard to stay strong for you but that was proving impossible. “Try to get some rest, mi dulce. It will all be okay,” he said once more, desperately trying to convince himself just as much as you.


	9. Chapter 9

Angel slowly came to as the sun shined through the curtains and into his eyes. It took him a moment to come back to reality. He slept hard and quite frankly better than he had in forever even with the heavy emotions of the night before. 

He dreamed of you, holding him. You were tangled together in bed, kind of like you had been when he fell asleep, and you were just holding him and he you. He caressed your hand smiling as he traced the silver wedding band around your finger. His gaze then wandered down to your very round belly, pregnant with his kid and his hand traveled down to rest against it, the child inside kicking against his touch. There was a creaking of a door that caught his attention causing him to look up. At the foot of the bed were three beautiful children giggling and smiling as they jumped into bed with you, their parents. You laughed and it was infectious surrounded by the similar ones of your children. He looked over to you smiling up at him, the kids now snuggled around the both of you and he leaned down capturing your lips with his soaking in the simple moment with his family.

He dreamed that he hadn’t driven you away. He dreamed of the life he could have had if he had made so many different choices, if he had only made the right ones, if fate had been less cruel.

His heart sank realizing it was only a dream as he became more aware of the here and now. He was laying on his stomach with the comforting pressure of your body on top of his, the side of your face nuzzled against his back. He could feel your chest rise and fall on top of him as you slept soundly. He didn’t want to disturb you but he had to get up, to try to clear his head before you woke. 

Lifting himself very carefully and twisting a bit he took your arm in his, unwrapping it from his torso and slipped off the side of the bed out from under you. Once he was free he watched you, holding his breath as you snuggled into his pillow and releasing it once he knew you were still fast asleep. 

Relieved that he had not woken you he couldn’t take his eyes off you and stared just a while longer. Your features were so relaxed, eyes gently closed, mouth slightly agape, your hair falling into your face. Reaching out he pushed it away, his finger lingering on your forehead just a little too long as the longing for what could have been tugged at his heart.

He should have proposed that day, or hell any day after that. He had the ring, had everything planned out, but no, he got scared, he chickened out afraid of the change, afraid that the dynamic between the two of you would change. Why? He didn’t really fucking know. He should have proposed, then maybe just maybe things would be different. 

And then that horrible night came really changing everything in the worst way possible. After that he couldn’t do it, all the two of you could see was your pain and your loss.

He should have never started working with the rebels. He wished he had never met Adelita, no he wished he had never fallen for her. She was just so different, so strong and passionate about her cause he got sucked into it all, got sucked into her, thankful for the escape from his crushing reality. And because of that, because of his mistakes he lost sight of what he had waiting for him. He lost sight of you, and he took advantage of your love, of your loyalty. 

But he was broken and so were you. Angel doesn’t do well with feeling helpless and he had never felt so helpless in his life before that. He couldn’t help you, he couldn’t fix your pain let alone his own. He started working with the rebels as a way to take some form of control back into his life, to help his club and to have a purpose. It wasn’t fair but coming home was painful and the longer he stayed away the easier it became to ignore it all.

Shaking his hair out he took one last look at you before slipping away and into the bathroom. He closed the door quietly behind him before bending over and picking up your discarded clothes from the night before that you must have been too tired to deal with. Tossing them into the hamper beside the counter he situated himself in front of the sink as he felt his breath become ragged with all the emotions.

Looking at himself in the mirror he rubbed his tired face. Running his hands through his hair then he attempted to tame the mess it had become in his sleep before slapping his face a few times to alert himself more. The tattoos of your initials and the tiny white heartbeat ink that came many years later across his ribs under his left peck caught his attention pulling him into his thoughts again. 

It was a surprise for you, the initials, a spontaneous decision. It had only been a few months since the two of you had confessed your love for each other and he was head over heels. It was one of the very first things he had inked upon his skin in such delicate and beautiful handwriting. He’d remember the shock and smile on your face after he revealed it to you forever. It was his way of showing you his love and dedication to you, his promise to you. 

A promise he inevitably broke. 

Snapping himself out of it before he got lost in them so deep he couldn’t escape he finished his business before stepping out of the bathroom cautiously moving across the room so as not to disturb you. Picking his clothes up he pulled on his jeans and threw on his shirt before sneaking out of the bedroom, closing the door behind him and buttoning it up as he made his way to your kitchen. 

You were always so organized it was no surprise to him that that had not changed. He found the ingredients he was looking for to whip up breakfast for you easily. Cracking a few eggs into a bowl with milk, vanilla, and cinnamon he began whisking the mixture together with ease. He may not have been as skilled as you in the kitchen but strawberry french toast was his specialty, the comfort food of yours he always made after a rough day or if you were down. He first made it after that asshole Johnny broke your heart in high school, then when your boss promoted your dick of a coworker instead of you who worked your ass off deserving it more than him, followed by the passing of your nana, and the very last time being after the miscarriage. 

In Angel’s mind that was the beginning of your relationship’s downfall. The beginning of the end.

You awoke yourself to find the bed vacant of Angel’s warmth. You slept well, better than you had in a long time, still even though you were physically well rested emotionally you were drained. To be honest you were a little disappointed to wake to an empty bed but you couldn’t expect him to hang around. It wasn’t fair to him when you didn’t even know what it was you really wanted.

Yawning as you scratched the back of your head you walked out of your room in search of some caffeine. The sweet smell wafted out of your kitchen as you heard the sizzling of the fry pan. Stepping into the kitchen Angel’s back was to you as he flipped the bacon over. You leaned against the doorframe watching him with a smile, the pang in your heart was there with memories from your past, but the gesture still filled you with love. It was his way of showing you he was there for you when the pain was too consuming for words. 

Placing the bacon onto the plates already filled with the french toast, he topped the dish off with a few more strawberries and some powdered sugar after he turned the burner off. He could feel your gaze on his back, had heard your steps as you made your way towards him. He could pick you out from a group of people just by the little noises you made that he had become accustomed to throughout the years. Gathering his composure he turned around, plates in hands, to face you. 

“Good morning,” he said taking the plates to your small table and placing them down, “How’d you sleep?”

You pulled the chair out sitting down in front of the plate of food, your stomach grumbling at the sight, “I slept well. What about you?”

“Me too,” he replied, pouring you a cup of coffee each before settling across from you, “How are you feeling?”

“How are you feeling?” You shot the question back at him. Obviously you both already knew the answers, knowing the pain of the other so well as if it were your own and in a way it was. 

“Right.” Angel hated this. The awkward small talk, the pain that consumed the both of you, and mostly the rocky ground your relationship was on. Everything was so complicated, your ties to each other long and twisted. He didn’t know how to be around you, a million thoughts and emotions ran through him whenever you were near. 

You looked down at your plate wanting to take a bite but getting stuck in the heartache, “The last time you made these was,” you paused taking a shaky breath. 

The pregnancy wasn’t planned, still Angel was so elated when you showed him that positive pregnancy test. He immediately grabbed your face in his hands brushing the tears off your cheeks, a smile shining across his. “Why the hell are you crying mi dulce?” He had said pulling you to look him in the eyes, “This is amazing! I’m going to be a dad!” He had said almost in disbelief. He had never been happier or so sure of something in his whole life. If Angel’s purpose was just to be one thing in life it was to be a father. He immediately kissed you pulling you down on top of him across your bed. He was so happy, his excitement melting away all your worries. You were terrified to tell him, worried he wasn’t ready, scared of what bringing a child into your lives would look like, but Angel was quick to vanquish all those fears of yours. Soon you were both in love with the idea, ready to be parents to your perfect little one. 

And all too soon your lives were turned upside down once more with the loss. 

No one knew outside you and Angel, not even Felipe or EZ. The loss and pain was yours alone, just another thing tightening your hold on one another’s lives.

“Was,” your voice broke. It never got easier with time and being here with him after everything else was just too much.

Reaching over he placed his hand on top of yours, “I know.” You looked up at him, a stray tear rolling down your cheek. His own eyes pooled with tears as he looked into yours. 

“I’m sorry,” you sniffled, taking your free hand to wipe the moisture off your cheek, glancing away before his own sorrow looking back at you broke you. 

“Would you please fucking stop that?” He begged. You had nothing to be sorry for. He hated seeing you like this. 

“What?” You asked, meeting his eyes again getting lost in them.

“Apologizing for shit you don’t need to.”

Flipping your hand under his you entwined your fingers with his squeezing, “You don’t know how much guilt I carry Angel,” you whimpered, “I know I wasn’t the only one hurting. I just couldn’t see past my own suffering. I retreated into myself leaving you alone and I’m sorry for that.” There was no point in trying to fight the tears. You knew you just had to sit in the pain of the picked at wound from your past or it would claw its way at you the rest of the day. 

“You’re doing it again, querida.” 

“Do you ever think about what they would have been like? Who’d they look like more? If it was a boy or a girl?” You asked, ignoring his comment, “Do you ever think about them?”

“All the damn time.” He said honestly. It was true there wasn’t a moment he didn’t think about it. To this day he still carried the small sonogram photo in his wallet, “I can still hear the little heartbeat when it’s quiet.” Angel didn’t spend much time sitting in silence, it was too painful. He much preferred keeping himself busy in any way possible but when he did it was always haunting him.

He remembered making up some lame excuse to slip out of work for your first appointment. He had never been so excited and nervous at the same time in his life. It was a miracle he didn’t get pulled over with how fast he was going so he wouldn’t be late. The minute he pulled up and saw your smiling face looking back at him waiting outside of the hospital all the nerves left his body. 

Squeezing your hand tightly he couldn’t take his eyes off the monitor as the doctor pointed out all the parts of the baby, your baby. He couldn’t stop the tears falling down his cheeks and he didn’t want to. There it was before him, the love between the two of you coming together to form a beautiful new life. He was in awe as he watched the little thing on the screen. And then the thumping that followed shortly after just took his breath away. He could listen to that heartbeat forever. He didn’t think it was possible to love you any more than he had until that moment. The speed in which your child stole his heart was incredible. He was overwhelmed with love as he broke his trance to look at you. 

You watched him the whole time reading his face as every emotion passed through him. You cried with him the minute you saw his tears and the heartbeat was music to your ears. The room was quiet aside from the beating from the monitor but you didn’t need to say anything. Your eyes were enough to express everything you were feeling to the other. Leaning over you Angel pressed his forehead against yours, your hands still entwined. You felt his tears drop onto your cheeks mixing with your own as he let out a joyful sob. Wrapping your arms around each other you held the other, the only two people in the room as far as you were concerned. The doctor stepped away to give you two a moment alone.

“There’s really a little us in there,” Angel croaked out, voice just above a whisper, “The perfect little mix of you and me, mi amor.” Being here and seeing it with his own eyes, hearing it, made it all so much more real.

You nodded not trusting your own voice in the moment.

“I love you so much,” he confessed, cupping your face pulling back just enough so he could look in your eyes, “I’m gonna take care of our family, take care of you. Thank you,” he gulped taking a shaky breath, “For making me a Pops. Fuck, I love you so fucking much.”

You chuckled through your sobs at his curing, “I love you too Angel, always.” You pulled him down to you, your lips meeting in a salty kiss from all the mix of your tears. 

It was just two weeks after that that all your dreams of becoming a family shattered. You woke in the middle of the night in intense pain grabbing for Angel. He quickly turned on the lamp beside the bed. You had pulled the blankets off yourself and that when he saw it, the blood. He had seen plenty of blood in his life but this was different and there was so much. Both of you knew that there was no hope but you couldn’t say it. His heart broke and he had never been so scared in his life as he rushed you to the hospital never leaving your side. He doesn’t remember hearing the doctor actually say it, he just remembers your cries, remembers holding you tight as you mourned together. 

That shit broke you, him, and the relationship you built together.

“Fuck,” you breathed out, “Does it ever end? All the pain and shit we’ve been through. Haven’t we suffered enough?” Surly there had to be some sort of limit to the amount of pain one should have to endure in their lives. The two of you had to be getting close to that point.

“I don’t know, you would think so,” he replied running his thumb across the back of your hand as he blinked a tear off his dark lashes. Certainly you had suffered enough but he didn’t feel that he had. He deserved the pain for everything he had put you through. He wished so badly he could take all of yours for you, to free you of it once and for all. He would do anything for you.

“Now the foods gonna be cold,” you regarded looking at your plate of untouched food changing the topic, “Sorry. I ruined a perfectly good breakfast.”

“What the hell have I been saying?” He brought your hand up to his lips, his beard scratching comfortingly as he kissed the back of your hand before letting it go and grabbing his fork while wiping his eyes. 

“Sorry,” you said once more before catching yourself letting out a half hearted laugh as you wiped your own tears away, him chuckling with you. You cut a piece of your toast scooping it into your mouth and savory the taste even if it was cold, “Seriously Angel. Thank you for this and just being here.”

“Anything for you, mi amor. I know I fucked up but I will always be here for you.” He vowed to you. “I love you, (Y/N).” He always had and would forever. 

“I love you too, Angel.” It was the truth. You would always love him too but sometimes that just wasn’t enough.

The two of you finished your meal in silence. You insisted on cleaning up but Angel was stubborn and helped anyways. Handing him the last plate he slipped it into the cupboard closing the door gently. Leaning back against the counter he gripped the edge as he watched you pour the last of the coffee into two to go tumblers. 

“I need to get ready and then I can give you a ride to work if you want.” You remembered him telling you his bike was getting worked on and knew he’d have to be going in soon. 

“That’d be great. Thank you.” He said. He watched as you made your way out of the kitchen and to your room shutting the door behind you. Mugs in hand he wandered out to your living room and made himself comfortable onto the dark suede sofa. He tapped on the ceramic as he waited looking at the well decorated room. You had really made this place into a home.

You got dressed quickly opting on no makeup besides some concealer to disguise the bags under your eyes. It would be a miracle if you didn’t cry again at least some time today. Slipping your tennis shoes on you took one last look in the mirror throwing your hair up and out of your face. You had told Felipe you would help him this afternoon and he insisted you take the day off. At the time you didn’t know why but after the events of last night now you knew. Still you needed to keep yourself busy today or you would most certainly drown so you were going to be going in regardless.

You exited your room to find Angel staring down at the two mugs in his hands. He looked up when he heard the door and gave you a half smile standing up and passing you your coffee. 

“You ready?” He asked you, “If you need me to, I can call Bish, stay here with you.” He at least wanted to put the option out on the table. He wanted to offer you whatever it was you needed, to do anything to help ease the blow. 

“That won’t be necessary,” you said. You needed to get out of the small home and away from Angel for just a while, everything being too painful right now. “I’m gonna help out Felipe today. I just need to keep busy, you know?”

“Yeah, I know,” he nodded. He followed you towards the door where you picked up your purse off the ground and your keys off the table by the entryway where Angel had left them. Heading out the door he turned the lights off behind him and waited as you locked up. 

The two of you entered your vehicle spending the drive to the clubhouse in silence aside from the faint music from the radio playing through the speakers.


	10. Chapter 10

Exiting the car you headed towards the clubhouse to find EZ waiting just outside the gates. Angel sent him a text letting him know the two of you were on your way knowing his little brother would want to see you. Angel turned to you giving you a kiss on the cheek before walking past you, stopping to give EZ a quick hug and then heading further in to give the two of you some privacy. 

“Hey,” EZ said meeting you the rest of the way and pulling you into a tight hug, “How are you doing?” He never got the chance to really check in with you last night understandingly after everything. Watching you come in with Angel helped ease some of his worry with the knowledge that you had not spent the night alone. 

“I’ll be fine,” you replied. Not you were fine, but you’d be fine. “We talked almost everyday. Why didn’t you say something EZ? You should have told me.” You weren’t angry with him but you were a little hurt to know that he had known and had not mentioned a single thing to you. You were also upset with yourself for not catching that something was wrong, but then again you were also good at keeping things from those closest to you. Especially something so painful. Still you were family, it involved you just as much. 

“Until we knew all the facts it was just too dangerous,” he tried to explain to you. He felt bad for not telling you sooner but he wouldn’t apologize for it. If he could go back he'd make the same decision to keep you in the dark. “You had a lot you were going through already (Y/N). I didn’t want to add to it.” He pulled you into another tight hug. “And I knew if I told you you would have come back. I wanted you back more than anything, but it had to be when you were ready, on your own terms. 

“You knew I’d be back?” When you first left you had no intentions of coming back. You thought that would have been the last you’d seen of Santo Padre and the people who made it what it was, but then again you were angry and hurting.

“Santo Padre is just as much a part of you as you are it. It needs you, it’s your home.” EZ said grinning at you after pulling away from the embrace. You rolled your eyes at him trying to stifle a giggle. “Don’t look at me like that.” He chuckled.

“You’re such a cheeseball,” you teased playfully pushing his shoulder. “Now come on, I wanna see all the other guys.” 

Angel was sitting atop the picnic table outside putting out his cigarette when he saw you and EZ headed his way. Hopping off the table he met the two of you following behind as you headed in the clubhouse, more than likely to say hello to all the guys before you went into the shop today.

You walked into the clubhouse sighing as the cool air touched your skin freeing you from the unbearable heat just outside. Your eyes adjusted to the room from being in the sunshine when you noticed Coco, Gilly and Matt sitting at the bar. You smiled to yourself not expecting to see your new friend so soon.

Angel however groaned to himself the minute he saw Matt sitting there next to Coco. What the hell was he doing here? He glanced over at you and his heart sunk at the smile you wore. He should be the one making you smile like that, not Matt.

Looking over at your entrance Matt grinned the moment he saw your beautiful face. He got up from his seat walking over your way, eyes only on you. Coco followed behind meeting the three of you in the middle of the room. 

“Funny seeing you here,” you commented. 

“I was just thinking the same thing,” Matt said. For him it was like you were the only two people in the room. He had just been here discussing business but the moment you walked in the room the air around him became lighter and all of that went out the window. 

“Yo, you two know each other?” Coco asked looking between the two of you and then to Angel who looked less than pleased to see Matt. Clearly Coco was missing something. He’d have to ask the Boy Scout about it later.

“Yeah,” Matt answered, still looking at you with that charming smile, “I met (Y/N) at Carniceria Reyes yesterday. She really helped a poor lost guy out.” 

Now it was making more sense. 

You smiled back. It was refreshing to run into Matt here. The conversation was a good distraction for you, helping to push the last hours to the back of your mind. “You two know each other?” You asked, pointing between him and Coco. 

Angel sat back a bit with EZ, watching you intently as you talked. He couldn’t stand this and he was doing everything in his power to not say something he could possibly regret. 

“Know each other?” Coco shook his head with a grin before slapping his hand down on Matt’s shoulder, “Asesino here is family, mi hermano, we served together. This man could take down a man with just his fuckin’ bare hands.” Coco boasted about his Marine buddy.

Angel felt as if he was being hit by a truck. Coco knew Matt, called him his fucking hermano. Angel was his hermano. He couldn’t possibly fathom how things could get any worse. 

“Asesino?” You asked looking at Matt with your eyebrow raised. He just smiled modestly glancing down at the ground. You looked between the two thinking what are the odds. “Wow that’s so crazy. Small world.” 

Angel was growing impatient, each word testing his resolve. Glaring in the direction of the three of yours exchange he muttered to himself, “Too fucking small.”

EZ heard the comment elbowing Angel swift and discreetly in the ribs shooting him a glare. Angel matched his look before turning back in your directions and swaggering his way over to the three of you. EZ tried to reach out and stop him but couldn’t without possibly making a scene.

“Angel,” he introduced himself with a smirk extending his hand out and interrupting the conversation. Standing straight he was a good four inches taller than Matt giving him that extra sense of confidence.

Matt took his hand, shaking it firmly, both men’s grips tight. He took Angel in, sizing him up. So this was the man who broke your heart, who broke your trust.“Angel,” he repeated back, “Matt. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Oh I know who you are,” Angel stated cockily, “Matt." He made a point of ununciating the t at the end."I make it a point to know everyone who’s hanging around my family.”

The men’s hands were still connected. You could practically feel the tension growing thicker and thicker. Coco exchanged a glance with EZ trying to figure out what the next move should be as you sent your own pleading look back towards EZ. The last thing you wanted was Angel driving your new friend away. 

The men eventually dropped their hands and it was like the three of you let out a breath in unison that you weren't even aware you had been holding. Angel stepped back taking a stance next to you with his thumbs hooked into his pockets sizing Matt up now. 

“So what exactly is it that you’re here for Matt?” Angel interrogated him, “What drives a man like you to settle here in Santo Padre.” 

You looked back at EZ once more pleading silently once more for him to intervene. He didn’t want to get in the middle but for you he would. Taking a deep breath he stepped up and next to Angel. 

“I’m here for work.” Matt explained simply to Angel. He didn’t like the guy, mostly because of what you told him but he liked you, respected you so he would be civil.   
He knew what Angel was doing though, trying to mark you as his. From what he could see you were your own woman, you could make your own decisions and he fucked up. “Got a job across the border.”

“Well Santo Padre is glad to have you,” EZ smiled at Matt butting into the conversation, “EZ,” he extended his hand introducing himself with a quick handshake. “Now if you don’t mind I need my brother for a minute.” 

“Not at all, he’s all yours.”

Angel glared at EZ as he pulled him away from the conversation without giving him a chance to resist.. Once outside EZ released his hold on his brother’s shoulder following him around the side of the building. 

Angel spun around shoving his brother, “What the hell was that?” 

“She doesn’t need this now,” EZ said calmly. Matt seemed like a decent enough man to him.

“Yeah? Well I don’t need that right now!” Angel snarled pointing back in the direction where they had just left you all alone with Matt. Well mostly alone with Matt besides the other guys but that didn’t matter. 

“Hasn’t she suffered enough, Angel?”

“Fuck, not now EZ. I don’t need this shit right now,” Angel protested trying to spare himself from the inevitable lecture that would be coming his way. He’s already heard it so many times, given himself the same shit, and right now after dredging up all that shit this morning he was not in the mood to hear it again. 

“I’m just saying. Haven’t you done enough damage?” He knew his brother was hurting too but he was the one who cheated on you not the other way around. You had every right to talk to Matt, to do whatever it was you wanted. As long as he brought a smile to your face after last night that was all EZ cared about, “I know you are hurting but if Matt can make her happy, why won’t you let her have that?”

“No, I don’t think you do know Ezekiel.” Angel snapped back at him, getting in his younger brother’s face.

“Then tell me! Because from what I can see it’s pretty fucking simple.” EZ barked   
back standing his ground, “You cheated on her Angel. You’re the one who broke her heart, who sabotaged your perfectly good relationship.”

“Fuck! We were both broken,” Angel exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. He knew what he did was inexcusable but it kept getting harder and harder hearing the same shit from everyone. “Our relationship shattered the moment we lost the baby, not the affair!” 

And there it was out in the open, the thing you had sworn to keep to yourselves. 

“What?” EZ’s eyebrows furrowed trying to wrap his mind around the revelation as he looked at Angel’s broken expression.

Angel backed away from his brother running his hands through his hair. “She was pregnant. We were gonna have a family.” Angel explained, defeated. He hated the pitying look his brother wore, that was exactly one of the reasons it was kept a secret. “I was gonna be a fuckin’ dad EZ. We were so excited and then” he paused a moment, “then we lost it.” His voice broke. 

“Shit Angel. I had no idea.” EZ’s heart broke for the two of you. He wished one of you had said something. It surprised him to know you had kept something so big and so painful to yourselves. He wished you would have let him in, let him be there for you. Although it was different circumstances he knew what it felt like to lose a baby.

“No one knew.” Angel mumbled, shaking his head. Leaning back against the side of the building he pulled out a pack of cigarettes from his cut fiddling with the carton in his hands, “It was too painful, we wanted to keep it to ourselves. And shit EZ you had enough on your mind while you were inside.”

EZ stepped over to his brother taking a place beside him against the wall. “I wish you had said something but I understand why you didn’t.” He placed a hand on Angel’s shoulder giving it a squeeze, “You are going to be a great dad someday Angel, I know it.” He said, trying to bring him some comfort.

“Fuck,” Angel sighed bowing his head, “I only wanna be a fuckin’ dad to her kids.” Picking his head up he looked at his brother. EZ could see all the emotions trapped inside him through his brother’s eyes, the fight within him clear as day. “I love her EZ. I love her so fuckin’ much it drives me crazy, keeps me up at night.” Angel leaned his head back against the building looking to the sky now. Last night was the first good night sleep he had gotten and he knew he’d be going back to shitty nights filled with shittier thoughts. “I need her. I’m so lost without her. I can’t do this without her.” His eyes glassed over as he stared up at the big blue sky. Maybe if he stared long enough it’d pull him in granting him peace from his seemingly never ending suffering. 

EZ looked at his brother. He wished there was something he could say to ease Angel’s pain but there was nothing he could do. All he could right now was just sit with him in it, to be there for him, and sometimes that's all you can do for someone. Even so he still felt terrible for the heartache his brother had gone through. The heartache you both had gone through and continued to go through.

—————————————————————————————————————

Coming into the carniceria had been a terrible idea, still you pushed through. You couldn’t stop your mind from wandering, from imagining what EZ must have seen that dreadful day. At least the shop was busy with customers coming in and out giving your mind the distraction it needed. Felipe told you to go ahead and close up early so you had just flipped the sign over in the door and locked it up. You were doing the last minute cleaning, the radio playing quietly in the background when a light tapping on the glass caught your attention. Looking over in the window you saw Matt standing there holding up a cup of coffee and a paper bag from Mr. Garcia’s with a smile on his face. 

Setting the broom against the wall you dusted off your hands onto your jeans before unlocking the door and letting him inside. 

“Hey, I hope it’s okay that I stopped by after closing,” he said stepping into the small shop. “I wanted to bring by a little something to thank you for yesterday.” He handed you the little brown bag first. 

Smiling, you opened the bag pulling out your favorite kind of scone, maple and doing a little happy dance. You were starving. The only thing you had eaten was from this morning and you couldn’t wait to devour the delicious treat in record time. “Thank you. Maple’s my favorite. How’d you know?”

“Hector was kind enough to share with me your usual order,” he grinned. To him you were one of the most amazing people he had met. Your little dance warmed his heart and he was thankful he had met you. He could really use someone with your light in his life. 

“Hector?” You repeated sitting down at the little table inside the building. Matt sat across from you setting your coffee down in front of you. “Mr. Garcia must really like you. He doesn’t let just anyone call him by his name.” 

“What can I say? What’s there not to like?” 

You rolled your eyes laughing before digging into the delicious scone, savoring the sweet taste in your mouth. If there was one thing you loved more than anything it was good food. 

You ate your scone just chatting casually between the two of you. You tried to stay present you really did but everything kept slipping to the front of your mind stealing you from the moment and it didn’t go unnoticed.

“You okay?” Matt asked, his face scrunched in concern. You were still just as lively as ever but there was a hint of pain behind your eyes, of sadness. 

“What?” You asked, caught off guard. You were very good at hiding your true feelings most of the time, you pride yourself on that. The only one who could really see through you was Angel with the exception of EZ a few times. Maybe you were just too rusty or maybe everything finally became too much. You felt vulnerable, as if he could see right through you and that made you a little uneasy. At the same time it was refreshing to not have to put up a front, to know that through all the pain you were going through it didn’t go unnoticed, to know that he truly cared. “Yeah, I’m fine,” you started to say out of habit before catching yourself. Letting out a sigh you held your hands in your face, “Fuck, no I’m not fine.”

Matt grabbed your hand gently bringing it down onto the table as he looked at you, “There’s nothing wrong with not being fine. It’s okay to not be okay, just don’t let it consume you. Sit in the pain and then work through it, but don’t let it take up permanent residence in your life.” He knew what it was like to be in a dark place, to let it take hold dragging you so far down that you couldn’t see an escape. He didn’t have anyone but he’d be damned if he let it happen to you. You were too special, too important to those around you in this town and he would hate to see the light diminish in you. “I won’t push you to talk about it but if you ever need a friendly ear, someone to talk to, well I’ve got two.” He gave you a crooked smile holding your hand tight. 

You laughed half heartedly feeling more at ease, a weight being lifted just from admitting out loud to someone outside your tight circle that no you weren’t alright and to be told that there was nothing wrong with that. You were a bubbly personality, always going out of your way to make other’s lives a little better, a little happier. Sometimes you felt as if you got stuck in that role, that all you were good for was bringing other people up no matter how down you felt. That you were such a happy girl, so full of life, someone like you couldn’t possibly be sad, couldn’t possibly be holding in a darkness so heavy you felt you might shatter into a million pieces. It felt so good to finally let some of that out. “I appreciate that Matt, I really do. More than you may ever know,” you gave him a smile squeezing his hand, “But I can’t talk about it, not now at least.”

“Well, I will be here when or if you ever can. And I’m here for anything else at all that you may need.”

"Thank you," you said genuinely. Standing up you tossed the garage into the bin behind the counter. "I got some stuff I need to get from Mel's hardware store before he closes. Would you like to walk with me?" 

"Sure," he nodded, standing up and following you out the door, waiting as you checked to make sure the door was locked. 

You wandered through the aisles of the small store looking for the parts you needed to change your locks, Matt trailing just behind you. He insisted he carry the basket for you so anytime you found what you needed he’d hold it up for you to place the items inside. 

Getting to the check out you greeted Mel at the counter setting your things down in front of him.

“(Y/N)!” He exclaimed with a large smile, “How are you doing dear?” 

“I’m good,” you smiled back, “How is your garden doing?” Mel had a greener thumb than anyone you had ever known. He used to let you come by and pick out anything you wanted and in return you’d cook him dinner or bake him a special treat out of some of it. 

“Doing great,” he beamed. Not many people asked him about it and he loved your enthusiasm whenever you’d stop by. He missed you while you were away, just like everyone else in the small town. “You should stop by again soon. You can have anything you like, like always.” He said, sending you a wink. 

You chuckled at the old man and his charm, “You know I’m going to have to take you up on that.”

“Good cause I’m getting a little thin,” he chuckled, “I’m gonna waste away without   
your good cooking to plump me up.” 

“I’ll bring you something again real soon,” you said resting your hand gently on his arm, “I promise.”

He gave you a thankful smile before finishing up scanning your items, “Hey, you have a new place to yourself now, correct?” He asked you.

“Yes, I do.”

“I’ve got something just for ya,” he said. Shuffling back into the storage room behind him he came back with a box setting it down in front of you, “We just got these in today. Living all alone you should have a little extra security.” 

You gave him a smile after you looked at the box of the ring doorbell but didn’t think it was something you needed.“That really won’t be necessary.” You tried to protest.   
Matt watched the exchange silently. He loved watching you as you interacted with the people around you. 

“Plus I wouldn’t even know how to set it up,” you continued hoping that would satisfy the older gentlemen.

“I can do it for you. No problem at all,” Matt offered, speaking up behind you. It wasn’t his decision to make but he wasn’t a fool, he knew Santo Padre came with its many dangers. It couldn’t hurt to have just a little extra safety measures in place and he would gladly assist you with that. 

You came to that conclusion yourself the more you thought about it. Before you never felt unsafe, you lived with a Mayan which made you a target in its own way but Angel would always protect you, you always felt safe with him. And with him being a part of the MC most people wouldn’t dare to try anything. But things were different now. Now you were connected to the cartel and Angel wouldn’t always be around. It couldn’t hurt to have a little extra security.

“He can do it for you,” Mel encouraged with a wiggle of his eyebrows and a grin playing at his lips. Mel never liked Angel mostly ever since he became a member of the Mayans MC. The club never sat well with him. 

"Fine," you gave in shooting him a quick glare. "But that will be all for today, thank you." 

Satisfied he smiled scanning your last item and setting it into the paper bag with the   
rest of your items. 

Back at your home you watched as Matt set up the device outside your home. He had just finished changing the locks and was now installing your new doorbell for you. It was sweltering hot outside so he had shed his top layer leaving him in a tank top that showed off his well toned arms. You tried not to stare but that was proving a little difficult. Shaking your head you tried to clear your thoughts. Now was not the time. Walking over you leaned against the door jam arms crossed. "How's it going?"  
Slipping the screwdriver out of his mouth he grinned glancing back at you. "Great. I think you'll like having this around." 

"I'm warming up to the idea," you admitted. The sun was beginning to set outside as you realized just how late it was."It's not much but I have a frozen pizza in the freezer I can heat up." You said pointing back in the house. It was the last thing you personally wanted to eat but at the moment the last thing you felt like doing was cooking. "It is getting kind of late."

"Sounds great," he smiled. He wasn't a picky eater. His mama taught him just to be thankful for what he did have and to be respectful when he was a guest. You could make him anything and he’d be happy with it.

You turned to head back in to preheat the oven when he stopped you in your tracks. 

"Before you go you can give me your phone? If you don't mind.” He added, “I can get the app and everything all set up for you." 

"Yeah, that'd be a life saver." You unlocked the phone with your finger print before going into the settings and turning the lock feature off for now. You handed him your cell before slipping back inside. You had nothing to hide so there was no concern leaving your cell in the hands of another. And you trusted Matt. Also you sucked at technology. Angel used to always give you a bad time whenever you had to ask him how to accomplish a certain task on your cellphone teasing you how he should just buy you one of those phones advertised for the elderly. 

Pulling the box out of the freezer you read the back setting it on the counter as you   
leaned down setting the temperature on your oven. You then pulled a couple of cold beers out of the fridge while you waited for the oven to ding. Opening the box you unwrapped the distasteful thing and set it onto your pizza pan. Your precious pan deserved better but there was no time for that now. You'd make it up to it another day. 

Angel sat outside with the guys at the end of the day watching as the sun set. They all had a cigarette in hand and a beer nearby enjoying some time together before they all headed off for the night. 

"So Matt's your hermano?" Angel questioned Coco sitting across from him with a raised eyebrow.

Coco rolled his eyes, "Come on fuck, don't tell me your fuckin' jealous of me and Matt." Coco shook his head flicking his cigarettes butt to the ground, "I get it with (Y/N) but damn man, get a fuckin' grip."

"I'm not fuckin' jealous," Angel lied, "I've just never heard you mention him before. If he’s your hermano like you said, shouldn't I have heard of him before now?”

Gilly snickered into his beer at his brother’s exchange. Jealousy was not a good color on Angel. 

“Fuck man. Quit being a fuckin’ pussy. It’s not like I have to share every damn detail of my life with you. He’s my hermano and you're my hermano and that’s that.” Coco stated matter of factly. 

“Ok, fine.” Angel grumbled. It was definitely not fine but maybe he could use this to his advantage. “So since you know this Matt so well, this Asesino” he mocked the nickname, “why don’t you tell me about him? There’s gotta be some dirt or something you got on Mr. Fucking Perfect.”

“Nah. Shit man I ain’t doing this,” Coco said standing up, “I’m not getting in the middle of this. He’s good people, Angel. That’s all I’m saying. Now I’m getting out of here. See ya fuckers tomorrow,” Coco called out, flipping Angel off as he walked away. 

Of course he was. Angel couldn’t seem to catch a fucking break. All he could see was you slipping from his grasp for good. There was no way you’d choose him over Matt. He was losing you and he couldn’t bear to watch. 

He was trying to not let it get to him, to step back and give you some space, especially after the shit they just dumped on you. He didn’t want to add on more pain again. Still he couldn’t stop worrying about you, wondering how you were holding up.   
Standing up he tossed his own cigarette down and pulled his phone out of his cut pulling up your contact. 

He spent way too much deciding on what to say before he finally typed out: ’Hey, I know shit’s been tough so I thought I’d swing by and check on you, make sure you are doing alright’ before hitting send and slipping the device back into his cut. 

Heading out himself, EZ jogged up behind him catching him at his bike. “Hey, you heading home?” He asked. With everything going on he didn’t know how good it was to leave his brother alone. 

“Not yet,” Angel replied slipping his helmet on, “I’m gonna swing by (Y/N)’s place, to check in and make sure she’s okay.” 

“Do you want some company? I can ride along.” EZ offered. 

“I’m good, E. I should probably go alone, you know?” Angel said before swinging his leg over the bike. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He called out over the roar of the engine. 

Giving his brother a nod goodbye he walked his bike back before pulling out and down the road. 

Your screen lit up as Matt was downloading the app for your new doorbell with a message from Angel. He wasn’t meaning to be snoopy but the message was right there before his face. He read it furrowing his eyebrows before swiping the notification off the screen and continuing on the task at hand. Angel didn’t exactly sit well with him but still it wasn’t exactly his business. From what he could tell today had been a tough one for you so where he didn’t delete the message or anything he also wasn’t going to tell you about it either in the hopes to spare you some. You seemed to be more relaxed tonight and he wanted to keep things that way. 

Stepping out onto the deck with Matt he smiled up at you from his crouched position by the door. 

You handed him one of the beers. He gave you a thanks before popping the top off and taking a long drink of the cold refreshment. “Pizza will be done soon. Are you almost done out here?”

“Yeah,” he answered nodding his head, “Just got to finish up a few things and then you’ll be all set.” 

“Great,” you grinned fiddling with the label of the beer in your hand, “Thank you again. For everything.”

“Of course. Anything for you, (Y/N).” He loved saying your name and you had to admit it felt nice every time he did. 

The oven dinged from inside your home and you took that as your cue to get the pizza out. Heading back inside you turned the volume of the music you had been playing up. The sound was competing with your noisy ac unit so it was a little louder than you usually liked it. Grabbing an oven mitt you pulled the door open and took the pan out. You then got to work cutting the pizza into evenly cut slices.

Matt heard the rumbling of the bike as Angel rolled down the street and suspected it might be him. Turning around to look in the direction he met eyes with him giving him a nod before shoving the screwdriver into his back pocket and heading in your front door. 

Angel’s blood boiled when he saw Matt standing there outside your door. The little nod he gave him only pissed him off more. Clearly you didn’t need him, and that fucking hurt. Matt had only been in your life for one day and you already were choosing him. Angel sped up down the street needing to get out of there before he had the mind to turn back around and lay into the fucker. He knew you didn’t need that. It was taking everything in him to not fuck up any more. 

He shouldn’t have done it but he did. Stopping at a stop sign he pulled out his phone sending a text he would surely regret later.

Matt felt your phone buzz in his pocket reminding him he still had it. You stepped out to the bathroom real quick and he was sitting at the small table in your kitchen waiting for you to eat. Pulling it out he looked at the screen reading the message. 

‘I was over last night and now you got another mother fucker over?’

Shaking his head he listened to make sure you weren’t coming back yet before deleting the message entirely from your phone and then turning the screen off. 

Once you were back he handed you back your phone, “We can test it out after we eat. I’ll show you how everything works.” He said.

You smiled feeling more at ease than earlier in the day. Matt was a nice guy and you had enjoyed spending the evening with him. Taking your phone you slipped it into your jeans before chomping down into the crips crust of the pizza. The two of you talked and joked enjoying the terrible food with good company. 

For a moment you forgot about all the shit, all the pain, and were genuinely, truly happy.


	11. Chapter 11

A few weeks had passed and with each one you saw less and less of Angel and more of Matt. It wasn't your intention, Angel just wouldn't come around as often, avoided you the best he could whenever you were at the clubhouse, and was going on more runs than usual. He was trying to stay busy, to keep his mind busy.

He was waiting for you to blow up on him about the text but you never did. A few days after he sucked it up and came into his father's shop while you were working. 

"Hey," he greeted you with a nod of the head. If you were going to say something about it now would be the time. He was ready for it.

"Hey," you smiled back at him. "How are you doing? I saw your text." You said gently. 

"You did?" He assumed you did but you never said anything until now. Here it comes, he thought. Holding his breath he waited for you to explode, but you didn’t.

"Yeah. Sorry I didn't reply I didn't see it until later and when you didn't show up I just assumed you weren't coming, that maybe club shit came up." You understood that the club would always come first and naturally if you didn't hear from him that was the reason. "I appreciate it though, you wanting to check on me. Thank you." 

"Didn't think you needed me," he complained, "You seemed just fine with Matt there."

Now you realized why he hadn't stopped and you let out a sigh. You could just feel the stress headache coming on already. 

“What’s the problem, querida?” He leaned onto the counter closer to you, his cologne strong and intoxicating bringing you a sense of nostalgia as he continued spitting words better left unsaid, “Didn’t want me to find out? He stay the night too? Fuck your pain away?” 

“That’s your thing, not mine.” You spat back, your jaw clenched. “Remember?” You internally scolded yourself for letting him get under your skin, again. Stepping back from the counter closing your eyes you rubbed your temples. “How many times are we going to keep doing this Angel?" You asked before opening your eyes and looking back at him. 'Aren’t you tired of it?” You were feeling incredibly burned out and tired, tired of going round and round in the same circle over and over again. You couldn't understand how he couldn't be tired as well. You didn’t have the energy for this fight again, especially not today. “Because I am. I'm so very, very tired.” 

Angel laid his palms flat against the counter top looking down at the packages in the display case below him as he let out a sigh. He was tired just like you, maybe even more so, but he couldn’t give up on you. He couldn’t let you go. You held his heart and there was no one in the world he could ever give it to again. It belonged to you just like he did. It pained him to know how bad you were hurting to see how now that you were back everything was weighing down on you once more but this was a fight he couldn’t give up on. “Yeah, I’m tired too.” He said, looking up and meeting your eyes, getting lost in the familiarity of them. “I’m tired of not waking up next to you, tired of not being the reason behind your beautiful smile, tired of being the reason for the pain I can see so clearly in your eyes, mi dulce.” He swallowed trying to keep his emotions in check, which was almost nearly impossible when he was around you, “ And most of all I’m tired of missing you.” 

“Angel I-”

The soft sound of candy spilling out of a box alerted the two of you to the presence that was now in the shop with you. You were so caught up in each other you didn’t even hear the man enter. Turning your attention to the man you watched as he plopped a couple of the Candy & Licorice candies he had into his mouth. 

Angel tensed up beside you immediately holding himself taller. No one had said anything yet but you could tell by Angel’s reaction to the man that he was not a friend. 

He slipped the box of candy into his pocket before returning his gaze back to the two of you. “Trouble in paradise?” he finally spoke up with an unsettling smile, “Please continue.” He motioned towards the two of you. “Don’t let me interrupt your little lover’s quarrel.”

“What the fuck do you want?” Angel spoke up stepping closer to the man. 

“Meat of course. What other reasons would there be for someone to stop into Carniceria Reyes?” He said almost challenging Angel. Smiling once more he turned his attention to you and stepped up to the counter. “Forgive me. Where are my manners?” He said extending his hand out to you, “I don’t believe we’ve met. Lincoln Potter.” 

Angel’s glare burned through Potter’s back. He didn’t like him being here, sniffing around you. It did nothing but add on to the stress and anger piling up inside him.The last thing he wanted was for Potter to involve you in any more of their shit then you already were. 

His phone buzzed from within his cut and as much as he didn’t want to leave you alone with Potter he knew he had to take the call. He pulled the device out, “Yo.” He answered, walking towards the window. 

You kept most of your attention on your new acquaintance, Lincoln Potter but were also very aware of Angel and his reaction to the man and did your best to be aware of any silent signals Angel may give you as well. He was ordering a roast and you smiled politely taking his order but you knew that wasn’t why he was really in the shop that day.

“I’ll be there.” You heard Angel say before hanging up his cellphone. You finished wrapping the produce and turned back around meeting his eyes. You gave him a little nod to let him know you would be okay before he ducked out of the shop, the bell dinging behind him and you turned your attention once more to the task at hand.

After that day you didn’t see as much of Angel. He’d ride by every once in a while to make sure Potter wasn’t giving you trouble and each time he would it seemed Matt’s truck was always outside his Pop’s shop. Eventually he couldn’t handle it anymore and stopped altogether. He was trying to give you space, trying not to lose his cool and if that meant he had to avoid you then avoid you he would. 

Or at least he’d try. 

But like you had said that was impossible. Everywhere he went if he wasn’t seeing you or Matt he was hearing all about you from the people of Santo Padre. And if it wasn’t you and Matt it was Coco and Matt, even sometimes the three of you. He understood now more than ever why you up and left him and the small town you held dear in your heart. 

But Angel couldn’t run away so instead he found other ways to release some stress. Like after he saw Matt at your place again he took it out on the old piece of shit car that had been sitting at the scrapyard. He swung the crowbar over and over, shattering the glass, denting the car up beyond repair before tossing the crowbar to the side without paying any attention to his surroundings. The only thing on his mind was rage at that moment. 

“Shit,” Gilly said, jumping away from the flying object. “Damn Angel, watch what you’re doing.” 

Angel ran his hand through his hair. He turned his attention to his brother, completely out of breath. “Fuck, sorry hermano.” Angel pulled his pack out of his cut extending a cigarette Gilly’s way. 

Gilly took it, flipping a couple of buckets over creating a seat for him and Angel. He sat down lighting it up watching as Angel did the same. The separation was rough on Angel but this was so much worse and Gilly was starting to really worry about his hermano. None of the guys knew what to do. They felt like they were walking on eggshells around him just waiting for him to explode, so they let him take his frustrations out as best they could. “What’d old Matilda ever do to you?” He tried to tease Angel nodding to the beat up junker. 

He should have known better though. Angel hadn’t been much in the teasing mood for a long time. He just started ahead with his cigarette dangling between his fingers getting lost in the damage he had created both physically in the car before him and in his relationships. 

Gilly missed the old Angel.

When Angel wasn’t beating the shit out of inanimate objects he was taking it out in the ring. Every opportunity he got he’d be busting it out in there, taking whoever it may be who would be willing to be his punching bag that day. The guys knew it wasn’t personal and all took turns taking the brunt of it just trying to help in any way they can.

“Alright,” Angel said, approaching the table of his fellow members, “Who wants to have a go in the ring?”

The men all groaned internally. Gilly sipped his beer, Riz pretended to be very involved in the current card game before him, Creeper acted as if his phone held something very important and EZ stood up making some excuse about needing to clean the bar up. 

“C’mon,” Angel whined, “Really? None of you fuckers are gonna be man enough to take me on?” He said, trying to play at their egos. 

The truth was they were all exhausted. They could only go this way for so long and it seemed that Angel never got tired, he was always ready for another fight. It wasn’t normal and sure as hell not healthy. 

“Fine,” he spat, grabbing a beer off the table. “If you need me I’ll fucking be out back!” Beer in hand he stormed out, the door slamming behind him.

Another method Angel used to distract himself was running. Every morning he would wake up at the crack of dawn, throw on some shorts and sneakers and head out the door with no destination in mind, just letting his feet take him. It was like he was training for a marathon that no one knew about. 

Unfortunately though his feet were always taking him to your place where he’d stand across the street staring at the dark house before him. You were always sleeping so you would never know he was there but he’d be there a good twenty minutes before he’d suck it up and move on. If he wasn’t finding himself at your place then it was the park where you had your first official date. He’d stop and sit on the swing for a moment catching his breath as he remembered all the picnics you had shared there together, the birthdays, anniversaries, and just lazy days when you’d get the day just for the two of you. 

Every place in this town held a memory of you, a memory of your time together as a couple. He really couldn’t escape you.

All these things provided him a momentary release but it wasn’t enough and it was only a matter of time before he snapped. Everyone could see that and were anxiously waiting for the moment to come only hoping there wouldn’t be too many casualties in the fallout. 

Each day at the Carniceria got a little easier. You started to notice Angel’s lack of being around a little less and tried to push him to the back of your mind. 

Matt would come by often, bringing you coffee or lunch. You’d take your breaks with him enjoying the food he provided and taking a nice stroll in the fresh air. He was easy to talk to, you never shared the deepest parts of your life but anything else was always on the table. There was nothing you felt like you couldn’t share with him. 

He felt just as comfortable around you as well and would tell you about his mother who practically raised him all alone after his father split. His dad was a drunk so he nor his mother ever missed him once he was gone. He told you about his days serving with Coco and all the shenanigans they would get up to. His stories were always so detailed you could picture them vividly and you’d get lost in them. 

When you were with Matt all your worries would go away, you felt free and the time would fly. 

You were wiping down the counter as EZ browsed his father’s bookshelf looking for something new to read. Unlike Angel he was always stopping in, offering a hand and checking up on you and his Pops. He even would talk to Matt when he’d stop in. EZ liked him, he seemed decent and no one could deny how his presence seemed to lift your spirits, get you excited again. 

It was nearing one in the afternoon, the time that Matt would usually come in and you’d close shop for your lunch break. You finished your cleaning, tossing your gloves in the trash bin and then removing your apron and hanging it up on the hook. 

You stepped around the corner looking over at the shelf next to EZ as he pulled out a title and examined the back. “Find anything yet?” You asked. 

“Yeah,” EZ grinned holding up the book and turning to you. “You know he likes you.” EZ said changing the subject.

“Who?”

“Matt.” He said. He chuckled noticing how you began fiddling with your hands. You might not want to admit it but he knew you liked him too. “He’s a good guy, makes you happy. You deserve that (Y/N). You should give him a chance.”

“I don’t know EZ..” you tried to protest. You did like Matt and he was a great guy but you still couldn’t fully comprehend him liking you back and even so your heart always tugged towards Angel. 

“Just try,” EZ encouraged taking your hand in his. “I know you still love Angel but there’s a lot of pain there. Maybe Matt’s what you need right now, a fresh start.” EZ hated himself a little for telling you these. He knew Angel would kill him if ever found out but from how things were going right now your relationship together was toxic. Maybe this was what was best, to let go of each other. He just wanted to see the two of you happy again, to see you stop hurting one another. 

“I’ll keep it in mind.” You said leaving it at that. Sure you dated one guy since Angel but that was different. It never went farther than just a few dates and one kiss before you ended things knowing you didn’t feel for him the same way he did for you. You just couldn’t get Angel out of your head, constantly comparing the poor guy to him. With Matt however it was different, Angel was still in the back of your mind but it was easier to forget when you were around Matt. You never compared him to Angel and you couldn’t deny that he made you happy, or was easy on the eyes. 

A few days later Matt was in the shop again. You had just had lunch together and he was getting ready to head back out as you resumed your position behind the counter. 

He was headed out the door when he stopped himself just short of it. It was now or never he thought. He turned back around stepping up to the counter. You picked your head up smiling at him. Your smile would always be enough to take his breath away, he thought. “Would you like to go out with me? Like on a date?” He asked. On the outside he seemed cool and collected but inside he was more nervous than he had ever been. To say he was rusty would be an understatement. He hadn’t been on a date in forever let alone ask someone on one but you were special. You made him feel like he could have someone to come home to, someone to care for who also cared for him. Like he could have a family one day. 

You felt like a silly teenager again, the butterflies swirling inside you. You had hung out plenty of times but never for a date which naturally made you a little nervous. If it wasn’t for EZ’s comment earlier you would have been completely caught off guard but thankfully you were a little prepared. “Okay, yeah.” You decided, giving him a smile before adding, “But only on one condition.”

“Deal,” he said maybe a little too quickly. He grinned back at you loving the way the corner of your eyes crinkled slightly when your smile grew.

“I haven’t even told you the conditions yet,” you laughed lightly at his eager response. 

“Whatever it is will be worth it if it means I get to have the evening with you.” 

You felt your face flush as you looked down. You met his eyes looking back at him, “Come to my place. Friday, eight pm sharp. Don’t be late.” 

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He replied grinning. He nodded his head before stepping back. “I can’t wait. See you then (Y/N).” He said before stepping out of the shop and down the street. 

Friday night and all the men sat around nursing their beers while they played a hand. The day had been fairly relaxed and everyone was enjoying having the day off. 

Coco walked into the clubhouse seemingly just having ended a phone call. He nodded at Bishop getting his attention from the table. Bishop stood up excusing himself from the game and walked into Templo with Coco behind him. 

“What’s up, Coco?” He asked once they were in the room.

“Just got off the phone with Matt, he’s on the other side,” Coco explained as Bishop listened carefully, “He’s in a bit of a situation, needs help getting back over.”

“Go,” Bishop told the younger Mayan, “We shouldn’t need you.” 

“Aight,” Coco nodded, turning back around to head out.

“Coco!” Bishop called out getting his attention. “Take Angel and EZ with you, you’ll need some backup.”

“No offense, Bish.” Coco addressed his president, “But that sounds like a terribly fucking idea.” They all knew the situation between Angel and Matt was tense, more so with Angel. 

“Doesn’t look like Matt’s going anywhere,” Bishop said, stepping closer to Coco, “They have to work this shit out, Angel needs that to get through to him. It’ll be good, for everyone.” 

Coco nodded once more before turning back around and out. “Yo Boy Scout, Angel!” He called out. Getting their attention the two Reyes brothers followed him out and to van. 

The ride to the tunnels was long and quiet. This was the last place Angel wanted to be but he sucked it up. At least in this way he felt like Coco still needed him even if it was just to save his other fucking best friend. Once there they made their way through and into the vehicle waiting for them on the other side. 

They found the location Matt had shared and walked into the building. Matt sprung up aiming at the men causing them to draw their weapons as well before they all lowered them upon the realization of who the other was. Walking over, Matt pulled Coco in for a quick hug a young girl following behind him. “Thanks brother.” He said, patting his back. 

“Who’s that?” EZ asked about the young girl. She looked frightened but at least wasn’t injured. 

“Don’t need to know,” Matt said plainly. That’s all he could tell these men even if they were trusted friends.

“We come all the way over here to save your ass and you won’t even tell us why?” Angel spoke up, pissed. They were risking their tails without a clue to how dangerous the situation is and he didn’t like being in the damn dark. 

“Angel!” Coco scolded. This wasn’t the time for this petty shit. 

“I’m just saying we have a right to fuckin’ know! I’m not risking my life for-” Angel’s next words were interrupted by gunshots flying into the small room. 

The girl screamed as Matt pushed her under a table to protect her from the bullets raining down on them. “EZ!” Matt called out getting his attention, “Watch the girl.” He ordered before stepping out and shooting back at the men who had ambushed them. 

EZ ran over taking guard and cover near the girl shooting at anyone who came near. The four men took out the small team fairly easily. Bodies laid everywhere as they took in the carnage before them. 

“Fuck!” Angel shouted, turning towards Matt. “What the fuck was that?! We almost got fucking killed!” He charged towards Matt when one last man who must have been hiding jumped out and tackled him to the ground. Matt, Coco, and EZ watched as the two tussled starting with Angel getting on top and pinning him down. 

Angel was living for this. This man was just what he needed, someone he could best the shit out of like he wanted to do to Matt. He landed blow after blow to the guy's face before he managed to get the upper hand himself and got Angel turned around so he was on top with him in a tight choke hold. Angel fought the man taking a little longer than he would like but he knew he could take him down, that he’d kill him. 

The fight was taking too long and they didn’t have time for this. Matt pulled his glock out and shot the man point blank in the head finishing the job and ending the struggle. 

Angel gasped for air as the sound of the gunshot rang in his ears while he pushed the man off him and wiped the blood from himself. He caught his breath standing up and glared at Matt. 

EZ came over in an attempt to make sure his brother was okay but Angel didn’t care. He only had one thing on his mind. 

Angel was fuming as he stomped past EZ and up to Matt. “What the fuck was that?!” He barked. Adrenaline coursed through his body from the previous scuffle and his hatred towards this man who was stealing his life away. His chest heaved rapidly as he readied himself for the much needed release of shit that had been building up for too long now. It wasn’t enough to take it all out on everything and anything else around him. He needed to take it out on the root of his problem, Matt. 

“Oh, you mean me saving your ass back there?” Matt wasn’t having this crap today. He had put up with Angel for too long now. He just saved his ass, and all Angel was doing was being an ungrateful little shit. 

“I had it fucking handled!” Angel defended himself. He didn’t need Matt swooping in and saving the day. He could handle himself, could hold his own and that kill should have been his not fucking Matt’s. 

Matt looked Angel up and down only adding to Angel’s irritation. “Could’ve fooled me. Looked like the fucker was going to kill you so I took him out, saved your life. You’re not going to hear an apology from me so if that what you’re waiting for I suggest you walk away and not waste anymore of my fucking time.”

“Right cause you have some big date tonight with my girl!” Angel spat. Yeah he knew about it, EZ had mentioned it to him after you had told him. He couldn’t believe this was happening. The day was long enough as is and as soon as they got back he’d just be stuck thinking about that damn date that should be with him not Matt. He should be coming back from this shit show to your comforting embrace not Matt. That should be him. “Don’t act like you were doing me some big fucking favor. You did that for yourself! So you could play hero and brag all about it to (Y/N) so you can get in her fucking pants! I see right through you Matt, know what guys like you do.” He was lashing out now, hoping to get under Matt’s skin just as deep as he had his. There was no way he was as perfect as he seemed. “You’re just going to use her and then you’re going to throw her away once you get what you want. You’re gonna fucking break her heart, and when you do I’ll be there to clean up the mess.”

“You mean like I’m doing for you? I think we both know that you’ve already handled breaking her just fine yourself.” Matt said stepping up to Angel, the two men’s chests were practically touching by now. “I threaten you Angel, I get that. You’re scared that she’s going to find everything she needs in me. That I’m going to take care of her, respect her,” he spat, “like you should have and she’s going to realize she is much better off without you, that she deserves better.” He snarled. “You know that, I know that, and deep down she knows that too. It’s time you let her go.” 

Angel’s eyes darkened with each word that was spat out at him. If steam could physically be coming out of someone’s ears it would be happening to Angel right now. Everything finally was bubbling up and over with actions winning over more words. Without missing a beat he grabbed Matt by the shirt swinging a right hook straight to the side of his face, his large metal rings cutting up his skin with the force of the punch. 

Matt staggered back just a little before catching himself. He rolled his jaw, spitting the blood to the ground as he snarled at Angel. Before Angel could react the wind had been knocked out of him with a fierce blow from Matt. 

EZ perked up ready to jump into the fight when Coco held his hand out keeping the young Mayan back. He shook his head, “They need this Boy Scout , he needs this.” He told EZ nodding to Angel. 

Angel hunched over unable to breath as Matt held him up and pushed him back against the nearest wall. His voice was rough and hushed as he growled into Angel’s ear. “You know I’ve been real patient with you Angel, more so than you deserve, but you know what? You’re right. I did do it for her, not you, because for some reason,” he tightened his hold on Angel pulling back his face so he could look him in the eyes, “for some reason she still cares about you, and I care about her. That’s what you do Angel, when you care for someone. You put their needs above your own. And yeah I’d like more than anything to beat the ever living shit out of you right here and now but I won’t, for her.” It was difficult for him but if he started he may not be able to control himself. He wasn’t going to let Angel push his buttons, wasn’t going to let him feed that monster within. Turning his head to the side he spat more blood out from Angel’s hit, the cut on his lip stinging from the movement. He was done tiptoeing around Angel. He looked back at him challenging the man in front of him. “So Angel, tell me, do you really care about her? Are you going to put her needs for once above your own?” 

Angel could finally breathe again as he regained his voice. “What? And that’s supposed to be you?” He snarked.

“Why don’t we let her decide for herself.” Matt said before pushing off Angel. Turning around he headed towards the exit of the building grabbing the girl on his way out. Coco shook his head looking at Angel now hunched over with his hands on his knees before jogging after Matt and catching up beside him patting his shoulder.

EZ walked over helping his brother up. “You okay, Angel?”

Angel wanted to shrug his brother off but he didn’t. He watched as Coco caught up to Matt the betrayal stinging him even more. “Yeah lil bro. Just fuckin’ peachy.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all are enjoying this story! Thank you so much for reading!


	12. Chapter 12

With the girl now safe with her parents and having received his payment Matt finished getting ready for your big date. He straightened his collar before examining the cuts on his face displeased with the events that happened prior but he wasn’t going to let Angel ruin your night. Tonight was about you, not Angel or the feud between the two men. 

You smiled hearing the knock on your door. Checking your phone you saw Matt standing at your front door, the new camera system he had helped set up working wonderfully. Your stomach was filled with butterflies as you made your way towards the front door but it was more from excitement than nerves. You checked your reflection one last time in the mirror before straightening out your dress and opening the door with a smile on your face. “Hey,” you greeted. Your smile faltered slightly when you saw the cuts on his face. “What happened?” You asked reaching out, your fingers ghosting just above the markings. 

“Doesn’t matter,” he smiled at you brushing it off. “I’m alright. Just a scratch.” His smile grew as he took in your appearance. “Here,” he said, handing you a bouquet of beautiful white gardenias from Victoria's shop. 

You grinned taking the flowers and inhaling their comforting scent. “You remembered.” 

“Of course I did.” He murmured. “You look beautiful by the way.” 

You could feel the heat rush to your face as you looked down smiling. You looked back up meeting his kind eyes, “Thank you, you don’t look so bad yourself Asesino.” You teased playfully. “And you know if you ever want to talk about that.” You pointed to the cuts, “or anything at all I’m here.” You offered, giving him the same offer he had so sweetly offered to you before. 

"I'll keep that in mind." 

“Well come on in.” You smiled stepping out of the way and letting him into your home. He followed you to the kitchen where you pulled out a vase from the cupboard filling it with water and setting the beautiful flowers inside and onto the counter. 

The pot on the stove was bubbling slightly the aroma from the sauce inside filling the room. Matt's stomach growled audibly and you laughed lightly. 

“Hungry?” You teased. 

He shook his head chuckling. “Starving.” In the middle of the counter was your pizza pan. The dough you had prepared earlier was already set up on it. “What’s that?” He asked.

“I went ahead and got most everything ready but I thought it’d be fun to make pizza.” Your smile reached your eyes as you looked at him. “You know since I fed you that cardboard crap last time.” 

He chuckled some more. “It wasn’t that bad.”

“We’ll see if you still hold that statement once I’m done with you.” You boasted. You were always an excellent cook, your Nana started you off young in the kitchen. It was your favorite way to bond with her and you fell in love with it instantly picking up all her tricks with ease. 

You pulled out some fresh vegetables from Mel's garden that you had picked earlier in the week. “Here,” you said, setting the ingredients and supplies in front of Matt. “Wash up and then chop these up.” You instructed. He did as was told rolling up his sleeves and washing his hands before getting to work. 

While he was doing that you finished your sauce. Matt couldn't help but steal a glance your way every now and then. Your spirit was higher than usual and he could just feel the love, the excitement you had for cooking. It was enchanting. 

Once that was all done you brought the pot over and Matt helped you smooth the sauce over the dough. Together you added the various toppings on top and then lastly topped it off with lots of freshly grated cheese. You slipped the pizza into the oven and then set the timer before turning back to Matt. “And now we wait.” You said. 

_Coco, EZ, and Angel made it back to the clubhouse. It had been a long day and all they wanted to do was just kick back and relax. However Angel was still riled up, the pent up shit inside him needing more of a release._

_He and Coco were behind EZ as they walked towards the entrance. Angel grabbed Coco by the arm turning him to face him just before they would go in behind EZ. The door shut tightly before them leaning them alone outside. “What the fuck was that?!” Angel barked at his best friend._

_“I don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.” Coco said, yanking his arm out of Angel's grasp._

_“Don’t play dumb Coco, you know fucking well what I’m talking about. What was that with Matt? You just fuckin’ sat back, didn’t do shit.”_

_“I figured it was about damn time someone put you in your place,” Coco snarled._

_“What the hell is that supposed to mean?!”_

_“It means you’ve been acting like a bitch the past few weeks and everyone is fucking sick of it!”_

_“Well if you didn’t fucking bring Matt here we wouldn’t be having this problem! I was gonna get her back and then your little hermano,” Angel mocked, “came in and fucked everything up!”_

_Coco snickered, “Right, always blame it on someone else Angel.” He stepped down the deck walking away before things got ugly but Angel wasn’t having it._

_Angel stomped after him, “Hey! Don’t you fucking walk away from me! I ain’t done with you yet!” Angel shouted. He was pissed, not thinking clearly. Everything around him was being swept out from under his feet. First his girl, and now his best friend. Next it would probably be his fucking club. Matt was taking everything from him and it infuriated him._

_Coco spun around getting up in his face. “You know if it wasn’t Matt then it’d just be some other asshole.” He spat, “At least he’s a good guy Angel.”_

_“Yeah that’s the fucking problem! He’s such a fucking good guy! How the fuck am I supposed to compete with that?!”_

_“You don’t.” Coco said plainly. It had been a year, a year of the moping and putting up with Angel’s shit and he was tired of it._

_“What?” Angel asked. He couldn’t possibly have heard him right. Coco always had his back, but now it was like he was all team Matt._

_“Don’t you think it’s time you moved on?” Coco stared him down. It was time Angel heard some hard truths, some truths he should have said long ago. “Fuck Angel you did this to yourself! You fucked up your relationship! Put our cause in jeopardy! We fucking laid our asses on the line! And because you needed to get your fucking dick wet we could have lost everything!” Coco snapped his own pent up shit being released at once. “You’re lucky (Y/N) didn’t slip up! Didn’t say some shit that got us all killed when she ripped you a new one like you fucking deserved! Next time, learn to keep it in your fucking pants!”_

_“You don’t know shit Coco! It was bigger than that!” Angel snapped back._

_“What we were doing was bigger than that!” The two men were nearly chest to chest as they barked at each other. “Fuck! I know you were going through some shit, and I never forced you to talk about it, thought I’d let you work it out however you needed but I guess that was my mistake!” He hissed._

_“Don’t talk about shit you don’t know about,” Angel warned._

_“You mean about how the pussy at home wasn’t good enough for you, you had to go get it from somewhere else too?” Coco spat._

_Angel’s nostrils flared and next thing he knew he was shoving Coco back before swinging a fist. Coco dodged the blow tackling Angel to the ground punching him in the jaw. Before long Angel had them rolled over and was on top of Coco landing a blow to his face and readying himself for another._

_“Shit!” Bishop yelled coming out of the clubhouse followed by the rest of the MC. Chucky had just gotten back from a beer run and saw the scuffle hurrying past the two to alert the other members. "Enough!"_

_Rushing over EZ pulled Angel off of Coco holding him back as Gilly helped Coco to his feet. “Fuck you!” Angel spat still on fire trying to break out of his brother’s grip._

_Coco shrugged Gilly off of him, spitting blood out and onto the ground. “I don’t even know who you fuckin’ are anymore.” He snarled, shaking his head. “How about you pull your head out of your ass and give me my fucking hermano back cause I’m tired of whoever the fuck this is!” Coco looked at Angel in disgust. Gilly reached out to Coco once more but he only shrugged him off once more and stormed away from the group Gilly following behind him._

_“Whatever this shit is," Bishop pointed to Angel, "It ends tonight.” Bishop ordered staring him down. “Go to Vicky's get your dick sucked or some shit." He ordered. "Blow off some fucking steam in a way that doesn’t involve you killing one of your brothers. By tomorrow this shit better be done with, Angel." Leaving Angel with that he headed back into the clubhouse, Hank and Taza not far behind him._

_EZ let go of Angel as Creeper walked up to them cautiously. “Come on, hermano.” Creeper said patting Angel on the shoulder. “It’s time.”_

The crust of the pizza cut effortlessly with a satisfying crunch before you dished out a piece setting it on the plate in front of Matt and then another on yours. 

You watched eagerly taking in every detail and change in expression as Matt took his first bite. He let out a satisfied moan as all the flavors came perfectly together in his mouth. Once the first bite was down he grinned at you, your smile bright as ever as you looked back at him. "So? How is it?" You asked. 

"How is it?" He repeated. "Damn you fed me that cardboard pizza," he teased, "When we could've had this?" He chuckled. "Wow, (Y/N). This is fucking amazing. Best pizza I have ever had in my life." 

Your smile only grew as you took in his praise. It had been so long since you had cooked properly. After your break up with Angel you lost your passion but now being here and doing what you loved again you felt like you were on top of the world.

"Why the hell don't you have your own restaurant or some shit?" He asked you. "Your talent is too good to not share with the world." 

You thought back, sighing contently. "That was the dream." You admitted. "I was in culinary school and everything. Those were the days." You remembered back to your days in school, you were so happy and your dream was right in your grasp before your whole world shifted around you.

"So what happened?" Matt asked. 

"Life," you laughed half heartedly. "When Marisol was killed I came back home to help the family, then EZ went away and Angel and I leaned on each other. After that it just kind of fell to the back burner. It got lost in my love for Angel and supporting his dreams." 

Matt nodded understandingly. "Well you should go back. It's never too late to chase your dreams. I can see how much you love it and how much love you put into it. That's something special." 

"Maybe." You looked down at your plate smiling. It had been a long time since you thought about pursuing your dreams but now that you were thinking about it you couldn't deny the sense of joy and excitement it brought to you. 

_Angel and Creeper pulled in front of Vicky's. Walking in Creeper sat down as Samantha came down the stairs greeting Angel with a smile. Bishop rang over telling the women to be expecting the two, to be ready for when they got there._

_Angel was too upset to care at the moment, all rational thinking going out the window like it often did for him when his emotions were so strong. Maybe this was the solution. Maybe he just needed to get over you by having a good fuck with another, and right now he'd take any sort of distraction from thinking about your date or the fight with Coco._

You finished your meal and Matt helped you clean up. You were now heading towards the door waiting for one of you to be bold and make the first move. You had a great time, the conversations between you two flowing effortlessly and you were really starting to see yourself with Matt. He was a good guy who was kind and charming. He treated you well and made you forget the pain of the last years. It was refreshing and you were riding the high of such a wonderful evening. 

_“Right this way baby.” Samantha said as she led Angel up the stairs and into her room closing the door behind them. Turning around she faced Angel a coy smile on her lips as he looked her up and down. Swaying over to him she slipped her hands under his cut, sliding the leather off his shoulders and setting it aside gently as she had for many of the patched members who would come in._

Matt bit his lip before manning up and making the first move. Closing the distance between you he cupped your face gently in his hands and kissed you slowly, slipping his tongue in your mouth as your hands made their way up his chest while you leaned into his kiss. His hands made their way down your body and the two of you began backing up to your couch all whilst never breaking the kiss.

_Samantha ran her hands up and down Angel’s chest before pushing him back and down onto the bed. He watched her intently as she slipped the thin material of her shirt over her head and tossed it aside. His eyes raked over her exposed skin, so smooth and soft, just like yours, her breasts just peeking out above her lace bra._

_Straddling his lap she began unbuttoning his shirt taking her time to make a show of it, grinding against his lap until she could feel him hardening beneath her telling her she was doing her job well._

You felt the back of your legs hit the couch and you spun the two of you around pushing Matt onto the couch before straddling his lap. Pulling away your chests heaving you looked at him smiling back at you, sending butterflies through your stomach. You hadn't given yourself to another man since Angel. The thought both excited and terrified you but you felt ready to take that step.

Pushing through, you smirked unbuttoning his shirt slowly. Slipping your hands in the now open fabric you pushed it off and down his shoulders, biting your lips as your eyes raked over his now exposed muscles. 

Carefully grasping the hem of your dress he pulled the fabric off you slowly before tossing it aside with his shirt. Taking in your exposed flesh before him he licked his lips and groaned. You were so damn beautiful to him. 

You sank into yourself a little suddenly feeling self conscious in your own skin. "So beautiful." Matt reassured you, causing your heart to flutter as he ran his hand gents down your arm. 

_Angel attached his lips to Samantha's neck, nipping every so often before swiping his tongue across the marks. She moaned in his ear, soft and low and then he was thinking of you._

_First of you being in his lap, grinding against him, and panting out his name, begging for him to take you._

_And then of you on Matt's lap. Praising his_ _name as he laid claim to your flesh and pleasure._

_The thoughts only fueled him and his need to rid you of his mind. He took hold under Samantha's ass, picking her up and flipping the two of them around before laying her across the bed._

_He unbuckled his belt quickly, loosening up his pants before hovering over and kissing her fiercely, trying desperately to get rid of all thoughts of you._

Matt pulled you closer one hand behind your back holding you there as he nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck, licking and sucking. A moan escaped your lips as he hit your sweet spot, the spot Angel used to relish in teasing you with.

You pushed the thought away, shoving Angel to the back of your mind as you focused on Matt's touch and how different it was from your former lover's. His skin was smooth, cleanly shaven, nothing like the coarse scratchiness of Angel's beard. Focusing on the differences helped push him to the back of your mind but not as much as you'd hope.

Running his hands down your back and under your butt, Matt lifted you up, flipping you around and setting you back down on the couch. You took a deep breath looking up at him as he settled between your legs. Reaching out you carefully unbuckled his belt. You laid back on the sofa as Matt leaned down hovering over you. He brought his lips down to meet yours once more, kissing you passionately as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

_Angel's hand wandered down her stomach as his lips made their way down her jaw before slipping his digits into her shorts. She gasped out at the contact and he really wished she'd keep quiet, the memory of you flashing in his mind with every sound she made._

Matt ran his hand down your stomach, kissing your neck again as his hand slipped it's way into your lace panties. You gasped out at the contact, closing your eyes and tilting your head back as he rubbed circles over your most sensitive spot.

_"Fuck, Angel," Samantha moaned at the pleasuresome stimulation he was providing her. But he didn't hear her voice, he heard yours clear as day._

_He pulled away from her violently. Sitting on the edge of the bed he ran his hands through his hair, tugging as he reached the ends. No matter what he tried he just couldn't shake you._

_"Fuck!" He shouted. He couldn't do this to you, not again. Even though you weren't together he still felt as if he was cheating on you once more, betraying you all over again. He couldn't bear the thought._

You were so focused on the sensation of the rough fingers against your skin that you lost all awareness of your surroundings around you. 

"Fuck, Angel." You gasped out. Your eyes shot open only coming to terms with where you were and who you were with too late. You instantly went from being overwhelmed with pleasure to feeling as if you wanted to die right then and there.

_Samanta sat up looking at Angel hunched over. Scooting over to him she situated herself behind him rubbing his shoulders to sooth him and bring him back, "It's okay, baby," she whispered._

_He shrugged her off roughly, bursting up from the bed. No, it wasn't okay. Quickly shoving his shirt back on and swinging his cut around his shoulders he stormed out of the room leaving her confused and alone._

_"Hey, where are you going?" He heard her call out but he didn't care. There was only one girl on his mind. Only one woman for him._

_Creeper watched as Angel came bounding down the stairs "Hey, where the fuck are you going?" He called out, ignoring the girl on his lap as he watched his brother charge out the front door without even sparing a glance their way._

Matt pulled back and you wanted to sink down into the couch cushions disappearing forever and away from his gaze. "Fuck Matt, I'm so sorry." You groaned running your hands over your face, hiding behind them. 

He would be lying if he said he wasn't disappointed but it wasn't your fault. Angel had a hold on you whether he liked it or not, and how could he not when you had given so much of your time to him? "Don't worry about it." He reassured you with a small smile. 

You peeked through your fingers at him. Sitting up you pulled your knees to your chest holding them tightly. "I really didn't mean it." You had never felt so embarrassed in your life. Even when Angel wasn't around he was plaguing your mind whether you were aware of it or not. 

"It's okay." Matt reassured you once more, setting his hand gently on your knee. "I've had a great night. Thank you for the food, it was delicious, you have a real talent (Y/N)." He swallowed looking at you comfortingly. "I really like you, but I think before this," he said motioning between the two of you, "can become anything more you need to figure that out." He gave you one more smile leaning in to kiss your cheek. "Goodnight, (Y/N)." Standing up he grabbed his shirt, slipping it on. 

You watched as he let himself out. Laying back down you grabbed the pillow off the couch and held it over your face screaming in frustration wishing you could erase those last few moments.

_Angel sat on his bike down the street from your place. There he watched as Matt exited your place buttoning up his shirt as he headed for his truck. Angel's blood boiled, the fucker clearly had his way with you and he couldn't stand the jealousy any longer. As soon as Matt was out of there he jumped off his bike. Before long he was on your porch banging on your door ready to give you a piece of his fucking mind._


	13. Chapter 13

The persistent banging muffled through your pillow pulled you momentarily away from your mortifying embarrassment. For a moment you thought maybe Matt came back until you heard the all too familiar voice. 

“Open up (Y/N)! I know you’re fucking in there!”

You threw the pillow to the floor getting up off the couch. Angel just had to be great with the fucking timing. What the hell was he doing here? You wondered. You snatched your phone off the coffee table confirming it was him, not that you needed to, when you saw him standing outside through your front door camera. He looked just as pissed as you which made you more furious because he had no right. 

You tapped the screen on your phone shouting through it to the little doorbell outside. “Fuck off Angel!”

Angel looked around a minute after hearing your voice before landing on the doorbell camera outside. “What the fuck is this?” He asked, leaning over to look into it. 

You watched him on your phone and in any other situation it would be comical but right now neither one of you were laughing. 

“Come out here and fucking talk to me!” Angel barked his demand into the camera.

“Go away.” Was all you said back. You didn’t want to see him and definitely didn’t want to talk to him.

“Did you fuck him?” He shouted waiting a moment for your response. He ran his hands through his hair looking around outside. Coming back to your door he beat on it three more times. “Did. You. Fuck. Him?!” He hollered louder. 

At this point you knew he wasn’t going anywhere and the last thing you needed was your nosey neighbors getting an earful of your drama. You stomped over to the door pulling a jacket off the hook on the wall and fiercely swung the door open catching Angel slightly off guard as he staggered back. 

“What are you doing here Angel!?” You snapped, crossing your arms as you adjusted the jacket to cover more of your upper body. After the events of the last few moments Angel was the last person you wanted to see. Fuck even when he wasn’t around he was still lingering in your mind. You just couldn’t shake him.

“Did you fuck him?!” 

He just showed up here at your door at such a late hour in the night banging to ask you if you had sex with Matt. Now you were livid and at this point murder wasn’t completely out of the question. You widened your stance in the doorway making it very clear he wasn’t welcome. 

“Fuck you Angel!” you spat, “It’s none of your fucking business if I fucked him or not!” You attempted to slam the door in his face but his reflexes were too quick. 

Reaching out he grabbed the door stopping it before it got far. “Yeah it kind of is my fucking business!” 

You scoffed laughing bitterly as you crossed your arms, “What? You get to screw another but I can’t? You get to have a little taste but I don’t? No! Fuck you!” You seethed. “You don’t have the right! I’m not yours anymore!”

“Fuck, querida!” Angel exclaimed, running his hand over his beard. “ I didn’t come here for a fight.” He really didn’t, at least that wasn't his first intentions. Without even thinking he found himself riding to your place. That had to be some kind of sign. But then he saw Matt leaving and he just lost it, images of the vulgar things he could have been doing to you flashing before him, and to top it all off you opened the door practically naked. What else was he supposed to think? And you weren’t denying it.

“Then why did you come here?" You asked him. "Why the hell are you here?!”

“I’m here because I fucking love you (Y/N)! I have always loved you! Will always love you!” He yelled, not caring about the neighbors, “And I need you, mi amor, mi vida,” his voice softened with his expression. He just wanted you back, he’d do anything to have you back. The separation was killing him. “I fuckin’ need you.”

“Well you should have thought about that before Adelita,” you threw the name in his face. 

He shook his head looking at his shoes as his eyes filled with tears. He was getting so tired of her being thrown in his face. Didn’t you understand that he knew how badly he fucked up? “What do you want from me?” He asked looking back at you, eyes pleading, “You want me to cut my fuckin’ heart out and lay it at your feet?” He said pulling his knife out and pointing at his chest with it, “Cause I will. I’ll do it right here and now, if that’s what you told me to do. I will do whatever you want.” He knew he probably seemed unhinged and maybe he was but he didn't care. He didn’t know what to do anymore. He couldn’t just sit back anymore and watch as another man swept you off your feet and away from him. “Tell me what you want.”

"What I want? It doesn't really matter what I want Angel. I wanted our child, wanted you to be only mine, but that didn't happen. What I want doesn't mean shit." You took a deep breath looking at his pleading eyes. Your defenses were crumbling all around you, your judgement being clouded in the heat of the moment. You let out a pathetic laugh as your own eyes filled with tears, "What I want…" you breathed out trying to clear your thoughts as you looked down. Blinking the tears out of your eyes you looked back up and into his taking a deep breath. “I want you.” You started “I want you to hold me. I want you to kiss me. I want you to fucking love me til that's all that's left between us, until that's all that remains. I want to be yours and you to be mine again. I want to forgive you Angel but I can't, I'm stuck. I can't ignore what happened and I certainly can't forget. I don't know how to move past it." You said honestly continuing,"I want you to get out of my fucking head, to stop haunting my every thought. I want to see only you, and you me, not the people we turned into. I want you but I know deep down I shouldn't." Angel stepped closer to you hanging on to every word. It took everything in you to not gravitate towards him as well. "Most importantly I want to be happy. Why can’t you just let me be happy? Why won’t you get out of my fucking head?" You were full on crying now, everything bubbling out of you at once, consuming you with your complicated and messy emotions, "I hate you Angel!” You snapped, your heart cracking with your words, “I hate you so much and what’s even worse is I hate myself. I hate who I became when you were off with her. I hate how I compared myself to her! To this woman I’ve never even met let alone seen. Fuck she could be anyone and I wouldn’t know it! I hated how I let her take over my mind. Do you know how many times I thought of her? How many times I imagined her touch on your skin? Your name on her lips? What she tasted like?" You spat the questions at him "I was obsessed because somehow this woman, Adelita, was more enticing than me and it fucking broke me Angel. I know I was a mess after we lost the baby. I know I didn’t give you the attention you deserved and I know you were hurting but fuck after everything we had been through we were supposed to fight for each other. And I came back! I came back to you but it was too late, you were already gone” you muffled the sob with your hand. Shaking your head you tried to gather your thoughts once more, “God I hate you and I hate myself more, for loving you despite it all.”

His heart was breaking. You would think after everything there wouldn't be anything left to break. You were standing there crying so vulnerable before him and he you. He wanted to fix this, wanted to make the pain go away. He needed to show you it was only you. 

He was going to fight for you now.

Dropping the knife to the ground he closed the gap. You stuck your hand on his chest to stop him but he didn't care. Grabbing your face he kissed you pushing through as you tried to resist until you relaxed wrapping your arms around him and melting into his body. He pushed you back into your house never breaking your hold on each other and kicked the door closed behind you. 

Angel held you against the wall, slipping his hands into the shoulders of your jacket and sliding the fabric off your skin and down to the floor. He took a moment to take in your almost bare flesh before him, the only thing on you now being the peach lace set you were wearing. He groaned longing for all of you to be exposed to him, for him. He hadn't seen this much of you in what felt like forever and it took everything in him to go slow but he wanted to make this last, to enjoy every moment you'd give to him as if it would be his last.

Attaching his lips back against yours he grabbed his hands under your ass lifting you up as he slipped his boots off. You wrapped your legs around him, your tongues tangling together as you kissed each other desperately. Walking you further into the home he kneeled down in your living room, his hands finding the clasp of your bra and unhooking it with expertise. You pulled back just enough to slip the lacy material off your shoulders, tossing it to the side before attaching your lips once more. He laid you down across the rough carpet trailing kisses down your neck to your chest. Stopping at your breasts he took a moment to admire them, so beautiful. With one hand he cupped your left breast running his thumb across your nipple while taking the other into his mouth, smirking as you gasped out from the contact.

He spent several minutes spending extra attention on his two favorite things he had missed so much. You ran your hands through his hair eyes closed just enjoying the feeling of him against your skin. He really did know your body better than yourself and you craved his touch, missed it more than you would like to admit. Your eyes opened as he removed his lips from your breast and began kissing and sucking lower and lower. You sat up on your elbows biting your lip watching as he made his descent anticipating his next move. He kissed across the top of your panties, running his hands up your hips and sides as he did so. By now the familiar tingling at your core was intense, a burning desire that only he could fulfill. Wiggling in his grasp you were begging him to do something about it, a little whine escaping your lips. He looked up meeting your eyes with his soft chocolate ones. You chewed on your lip looking back, you didn't need to say anything. He knew exactly what you were thinking. 

Still Angel ignored your pleas, for now. He kissed down the outside of your left thigh, his right hand running down your right as he left his trail of kisses all the way down to the tops of your feet. Spreading your legs further apart he slid his hand between them as he began making his way back up the inside of your leg stopping at the top where he met the peach lace once more. Your breath hitched as you watched and waited, eyes glued to his face so close to where you desperately needed it. Hooking his fingers into the sides of your panties he pulled the fabric down and off your legs slowly. He sat back on his heels looking at you spread out before him. Licking his lips, his eyes raked over every inch of your skin before meeting your eyes once more. They held so much in them. Lust, love, pain, he could see it all. 

You didn't feel uncomfortable as you laid bare and vulnerable before him. With him you always felt safe and secure in your own skin. He crawled back down to you grabbing the backs of your knees and resting them on his shoulders, his face just centimeters away from your sweet lips. He ran his fingers through your folds growling out at how wet you were. With his other hand he gripped tight to your hip before slipping his fingers in slowly. You moaned out at the intrusion sitting up more as best as you could to watch him. Attacking his lips to your clit he began licking and sucking as he massaged you from the inside. Throwing your head back, with your eyes closed you reached for anything to hold onto as he started pumping the digits in and out slowly before picking up the pace and curling them every so often. Your pants and low moans fueled him further as he continued his pace, soaking in every sound and movement you made. Digging your heels into his shoulder blades you squirmed, your walls tightening around him. It wasnt long before you were gasping out "Fuck, Angel" as you we swept into your orgasm climaxing around him. Giving you a moment before slipping his fingers out he sat back once more making sure you watched as he sucked his fingers soaked in your juices into his mouth savoring the taste of you on his tongue. The act only turned you on more.

Coming back for more Angel leaned down towards you, hovering just above you. Holding your hand up against his chest you pushed him back, sitting up more yourself. His heart sank thinking you were rejecting him until you surprised him by pushing him back onto his ass so you could straddle his lap. He could feel your wet warmth through his jeans, his dick so hard it felt like it would burst through the fabric. You kept eye contact with him, your breath still ragged from the orgasm just a minute ago, as you discarded his cut, setting it off to the side gently. Then you began unbuttoning his shirt slowly, taking your time. You unconsciously bucked your hips on top of his, feeling his hard member twitch beneath you. Angel groaned biting his lip as his hands ran up and down your back before settling on your ass. Undoing the last button you helped rid him of the plaid, hooking your hands under the fabric of the black wife beater he wore beneath it and shedding him of that as well. 

Now it was your turn to take him in. You traced each exposed tattoo delicately with your fingers, ending with that of your initials. Below it you saw the tiny white ink, one he had not had while you were together. You ran your thumb across slowly and carefully. 

Angel watched you hoping the tattoo wouldn't upset you. You looked up into his eyes, your palm laid flat against the tiny ink now. Placing his hand over yours you stayed there for a moment in silence before he grabbed the back of your head pulling you in for another kiss. There were tears in his eyes and yours as you hung on to the other for dear life. You wrapped your arms around his neck deepening the kiss, sitting up slightly to give his lap a rest. Leaning back gently with you on top of him he let you lead this time, giving you full control over him. 

The two of you made out, your hands running through his hair as he squeezed your ass. Breaking the kiss you began leaving your own marks down his jaw and neck then to his chest. You began trailing kisses, nipping at his skin before soothing the sting with your tongue down his chest, your hands running down behind you. You felt up his pecs as you neared his jeans leaving one last kiss above the denim. Sitting p now, your delicate fingers reaching for his belt ghosting over the leather unclasping it without him feeling a thing. You unbuttoned his jeans pulling down the fly, his hard member prominent trapped in the stiff material. Pulling the jeans domn he lifted his hips helping you get the damn things off him. Slipping his socks off, next you pulled the tight boxer briefs down springing him free, leaving him just as naked and open as you were. You sat there, eyes fixed on his large thick member. Biting your lip again you met his eyes. He gulped waiting for you to make a move, desperate to feel you. Running your hands up his thighs and hips you then wrapped one hand around him giving him a few good pumps. 

"Fuck," he groaned out watching your every move. 

Wetting your lips you bent over swirling your tongue around the tip of his cock lapping up the precum before sinking down onto him. His head rolled back, eyes closed as you bobbed up and down, taking him like your mouth was made for his dick. He involuntarily bucked his hips up grunting as you gagged which only turned him on more. You kept up at it, his large member slipping back and forth in your mouth easily. At this rate he wasn't gonna last long, all the pent up emotions and desire for you too much. He sat up pulling you off his cock gently. He'd be damned if he'd be ending the night cumming in your mouth. 

You looked up at him drool running down your chin. Reaching out he wiped the saliva off your chin slowly with his thumb before taking your hands in his. Pulling you both to your feet he bent over scooping you up into his arms bridal style to carry you to the bedroom. 

He laid you down gently across the bed getting one more good look at you bare and spread out before him as you got a good look at him too. You waited for him anticipating his next move. You scoot back on the bed as he crawled on with you, leaning over you. He kissed you again as his hand spread your legs further apart for him. Pulling away from the kiss he looked into your eyes giving you a moment to deny him if that's what you wanted although he prayed you wouldn't. You looked back into his eyes giving him the silent go ahead as you reached out for him. Both of you looked down as he coated himself in your juices watching as he slowly slipped into you, burying himself deep within your core coming together in the most intimate way. You were both breathless as he leaned down resting his forehead against yours. He stayed still a moment giving you time to adjust to him, the familiar burn as he stretched you out welcoming you home. You wrapped your legs around him, your hands wrapping around his neck as you held each other there. With one hand on your hip he ran his fingers of the other down the side of your face, caressing your skin. He looked into your eyes trying to convey all his emotions to you at once with just a few simple words. "It's only you, amor." He breathed out, "Always been you."

Your eyes began watering again. Pulling him down you kissed him to shut him up this time. He took that as his cue not being able to bear you clenching around him anymore and began thrusting slowly at first, gliding in and out smoothly with your slickness. The only sounds filling the room was of your combined gasps and moans mixed with the sounds of your bodies coming together over and over again. Your mouth hung open, your back arching up into him as he quickened his pace. Both of you were nearing your release. Your walls tightened around him and he would be a goner soon too. Slipping his thumb into your mouth you sucked it wetting it well before he reached down running quick circles across your clit with it to speed your orgasm up. He kissed your neck as his thrusts became sloppy as they always did when he was close. Angel moaned out your name spilling inside you and filling you up. Continuing his ministrations on your clit he pumped in you a few more times until you clenched around him praising his name as you reached your second climax of the night coming undone around him.

Both breathless you laid there together spent. Angel held himself up so as not to crush you beneath him before pulling out slowly and flipping over on his back beside you. His thick cum spilled out of you as you stared up at the ceiling, the heavy breathing being the only sounds left in the room now. 

You felt ashamed of yourself, for giving in to him, to your need for him. You felt weak. Sitting up you swung your legs off the side of the bed feeling sore from the events. Angel looked over watching you, your back to him now and he could have sworn he saw your back shake with a sob causing his chest to tighten. All he wanted to do was hold you as if somehow that would make all the pain go away. 

"I'm going to shower," you managed out before standing up. He watched as you wobbled your way to the bathroom, his seed spilling down your thighs. You shut the door behind you never turning to look at him for fear of breaking. Leaning back against the cool wood you covered your mouth as you couldn’t stop the sobs that wrecked through your body and the tears that spilled out. You loved him, you really did. You loved him so much and that’s why everything was so painful, so raw. You wanted to forgive him, more importantly you wanted to forget, but you couldn’t. It was like your mind and heart were in a constant battle and you were so tired of the fight between the two.

After a long hot shower you slipped your robe on and made your way back to the bedroom ready to face Angel but when you got there the bed was empty. You stepped out of the bedroom grabbing your phone when you noticed the back porch light was on. Walking over you stopped in front of the window and watched him sitting on the steps having a smoke. Your heart longed to be next to him but again your mind was fighting it. 

Holding your phone up you scrolled through your various contacts until you found the one you were looking for. In the shower you had plenty of time to reflect and think, leading you to come to what you hoped would be a final solution for your problem. 

You looked back up and stared back out the window at Angel taking in every detail. The porch light was illuminating his bare back and you could see each breath he took, the smoke billowing out into the night from his lips. You knew you couldn’t go on like this. You had to make a decision and no matter what decision you made, what path you chose, you knew there was one thing you had to do to finally get some closure, to be able to move on however that may look. 

You held the phone up to your ear as it rang until you finally heard his voice. “(Y/N)? What’s wrong?”

"I need to meet her, Adelita," you clarified murmuring into the phone as if you were afraid Angel would hear you from outside, "Can you make that happen, EZ?"


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while! I've been on a bit of a break but here is an update. I hope you all enjoy and of course thank you so much for reading!

Angel sat outside on your steps, everything running around his mind all at once. He loved you more than anyone and that’s why it hurt so much to see you in so much pain. He could not keep doing this to you. You were hurting because of him. You were being held back because of him once again. This was all his fault and he had to make it right. He couldn’t be selfish anymore. He knew what he had to do, he knew it would kill him but it was time to let you go, to set you free. 

He flicked the butt of his cigarette to the ground before running his hands through his hair. He let out a long shaky sigh, the heaviness in his chest constricting tighter as the pain built up with each moment that passed. 

You were right. Coco was right. Fuck even Matt was right. It was time to put you first. 

Picking his head up he looked over at you when he heard the back door open. You looked tired, your eyes puffy from the crying. He hated seeing you this way. “Hey,” he said as you sat down next to him on the steps. 

“Hey.” You leaned into him laying your head on his shoulder.

The two of you sat in silence for a while just feeling the cool air of the night against your skin. Angel had wrapped his arm around you wanting to hold you close a little longer. You both knew what had to happen but neither one of you wanted to be the first one to say it. You wanted to pretend nothing had happened between the two of you. Nothing could change the past though. In order to move on something had to change for the both of you. 

Angel broke the silence speaking out into the night. “I’m sorry.” 

You turned your head to look over at him. You could see the regret written all over his face. 

“I’m sorry,” he repeated his words, “I’m sorry for everything (Y/N). I made a mistake, the biggest mistake of my life and I will pay for it for the rest of my days. I should have never strayed. I should have pushed through and been there for you.”

“Angel, don’t. You tried, I was the one who-”

He cut off your words. He wouldn’t let you put the blame on yourself. It wasn’t on you. No matter what happened he cheated. That was on him. That is what really broke you. “Don’t do that, mi dulce. This is not on you. You did nothing wrong. This was on me, on me for being selfish, on me for not knowing how to express my own pain. I let myself get caught up in a fantasy losing sight of what was important, of the wonderful woman I had waiting back at home for me. I’m so sorry.” His voice cracked now as he let out a sob. “I should have never made you doubt yourself. You didn’t deserve that. You have nothing on her (Y/N). No one will ever compare to you.” And he would never love another as much as he loved you. 

“It’s time.” This was it. His last moments with you before everything changed once and for all. You wrapped your arms around him leaning into him even more for support. You were both crying now, the tears streaming down your faces. This was good, for the best Angel kept telling himself to keep him from changing his mind. 

You thought about telling him your plan, of wanting to meet Adelita, but it didn't feel like the right time. You needed to be able to do this on your own and then once all was said and done you could sort through your own messy shit and figure out what it was you wanted, what you needed.

“I’m done (Y/N). I need to let you go. I am going to let you go. Not just for you but myself too. I’ve been selfish and I’m sorry for that and for toying with your emotions. You deserve better, someone who will treat you like the queen you are, someone who will take care of you.” The next words that came out of his mouth were possibly the most painful words he would ever say. “Someone like Matt.” 

Pulling away he turned so he could face you straight on grabbing your hands in his. Lifting them up he kissed the back of them softly savoring each moment it had left. “If you want to be with Matt I won’t get in the way anymore. I’ve had a lot of time to think about this (Y/N). I love you so much, I always will but I can’t keep hurting you like I have been. I just want you to be happier and you are with him. I’ve seen the way he makes you smile.” He smiled back at you, a bittersweet smile. You were the most important thing to him. From now on your happiness would be coming first for him. “If that’s what you want then I think you should go for it. I promise I won’t get in the way anymore.” 

“I don’t know what it is I want, Angel.” You said softly. You were so confused anymore.

“There’s nothing wrong with that but I think you do know.” He gave your hands a squeeze. “Chase your dreams, do all the things you’ve been wanting to do. You’re free now.” He knew how much you gave up for him. He was so thankful for all you had done for him. He only wished he had supported you more in your dreams like you had him. He wished he could back and fix all of his mistakes but that wasn’t possible so now he was going to do all the things he should have done. “Thank you for everything you have done for me. You’ve made me a better man, you’ve always been there for me, supported me now let me support you. Go back to school.” He said. 

He watched as you contemplated in your mind. You wanted to go back but it had been so long now you were afraid you wouldn’t be able to “I can’t. It’s been too long.” He could see how intimidated you were about the thought of going back. The longer you went the harder it would be. That was partially on him. 

“It’s never too late to chase your dreams,” Angel’s voice had evened out now as he reassured you telling you the same thing Matt had earlier. “You are way too talented not to. Don’t let it all go to waste. Go after what you want and take it.”

“I could never afford it.” You tried to protest. The more you thought about it the more ridiculous the whole idea seemed. 

Angel chuckled, shaking his head. “Don’t worry about it, I got it.” 

“What?” You asked, pulling your hands out of his. You couldn’t take his money. “Angel I can’t, I won’t.” 

“It’s not up for debate, querida.” He grabbed your hands once more in his. “Please let me do this. It’s the least I can do.” 

You sighed looking into his dark eyes. “I’ll think about it.” You gave him a smile. “Thank you.” 

Angel smiled back, sniffling. “Of course. You can pay me back with free meals at your restaurant.” 

“Haven’t I been providing you with free meals for years now?” You teased trying to keep the conversation light to push the pain in your heart away. 

Angel laughed with you. It didn’t make the heartache any less but it was still nice to be able to laugh together once more. “You got me there. I think we can call it even.” 

“Yeah.” You took a deep breath feeling both lighter and heartbroken at the same time. There was so much you wanted to say to him but no amount of time would be enough for that so you kept it short. “Thank you, for giving me a love I will never forget. I will always love you Angel.” 

This was goodbye. 

“I’ll always love you too.” 

A few weeks had passed where you did your best to focus on yourself and your meeting. Angel kept his word giving you your space. Matt would still come by the shop while you were working and have lunch but it was strictly as friends. You were thankful things didn’t become too awkward with him because you really did enjoy his company. 

You were now at home waiting for EZ to come pick you up. This evening you would be going across the border with him, Coco, and Gilly to have a meeting with Adelita. You were warned it could be dangerous but you didn’t care this was something you needed. You needed to talk to her although you had no clue what the hell you were going to say. 

What do you say to the woman who stole your love? 

You didn’t blame her at all. It was not her fault. It was Angel who decided to pursue her despite being with you. That was on him. Still you spent so much time thinking about this woman, comparing yourself even though you knew nothing about her. You just needed a face to the name, to this ghost who had haunted you and your relationship for so long. 

You looked back at yourself in the mirror taking one last deep breath before you would be heading out. 

EZ pulled up in front of your house. He was unsure of this whole thing but if it was what you wanted and needed then he would do it. Thankfully Angel was out on a quick run with Creeper and Riz so getting away without him knowing of becoming suspicious was easier than he had anticipated. 

“Fuck I still don’t like this boyscout.” Coco said from the passenger side of the truck. He understood why you wanted to do this and there was no way he was not coming along with you but he still did not like the idea of putting you in danger in any way. Something was not sitting well with him. All the possibilities of how this could go wrong was running around in his mind making him anxious. 

“We owe her this much,” Gilly said from the backseat. In a way they all betrayed you. It was the least they could do. They hurt you just as much as Angel by keeping their mouths shut and choosing him over you. This was their way of making it up to you. “It’ll be fine. We get in, she says what she needs to say and then we get out.” It was a simple enough plan. “Now settle the fuck down before she gets out here or you’re going to stress her out.” 

Coco huffed knowing Gilly was right. Lighting his third cigarette now since they got in the vehicle he inhaled the familiar feeling bringing some relief to his nerves before blowing the smoke slowly out the window. He watched as EZ walked up the walkway to your house slipping inside momentarily before coming out with you behind him.

There was no turning back now. This was happening one way or another. 

“Hey,” You said, giving the guys a smile as you slipped into the back seat next to Gilly. “Thank you again for doing this.” You had already thanked them more times than you needed to but you wanted them to know that you truly appreciated them doing this for you. You knew what you were asking was no small feat. 

“You don’t need to thank us. Anything you need we are here for.” Gilly said, patting your thigh comfortingly. “Are you ready?”

They would be going through this but they wanted to give you one last chance to change your mind if that’s what you wanted before leaving. 

You nodded giving the guys a confident smile. “I’m ready.” 

The men took you to the tunnels they used so often helping you down and into the dark closed up space. You looked around at the lights strung up lighting the path. As you followed Coco and Gilly with EZ right behind you you thought about all the times Angel had been down here. It was like you were getting a better glimpse into his secret life as you imagined yourself following him down the tunnels. It was as if he was here with you too bringing you some sense of comfort.

Angel never shared much about what he did for the club. You knew it was his way of keeping you safe and separate from that life. He only wanted to protect you. It was like he had so many separate lives. No wonder it was so easy for him to get caught up in them, being able to separate himself from his life with you when he was with the club or her. 

“Are you doing okay?” EZ asked softly as he came up beside you. He could only imagine what must be running through your mind right now. 

“Yes actually, I am. I’m just ready to close the book on this chapter of my life. I think this is the way to do it” 

EZ nodded. “And then what?” He knew Angel let you go once and for all but he didn’t know where you stood on the matter. 

“And then maybe I can find myself." You smiled at EZ just before the four of you reached your exit. 

“We’ll be just out here.” Coco said motioning to the room just outside of where you and Adelita would be.

“Okay,” you smiled putting on a brave face. Now that you were finally here the nerves had settled into the pit of your stomach. You looked to their faces one last time thankful to have them here with you before going in to face Adelita. 

When you stepped into the room you were immediately greeted by her. You could see how Angel had fallen for her. She gave off this sense of power and control. She held herself high and just exuded confidence. She was enchanting but at the same time she was just a woman, human just like you. “(Y/N)” She said, extending her hand out shaking yours, “Adelita.” She introduced herself. “Ezekiel told me you wanted to meet.”

“Yes, I did. I’m… I was Angel’s girlfriend.” 

“I know. Please have a seat,” She said as she sat down in the chair opposite yours. “He told me about you after you left.”

“He did?” You couldn’t understand why he would tell his mistress about you. You wondered what he had told her about you. 

“Yes, not long after you left he ended things. He was broken up after you. I’m glad you walked away. He needed a wake up call.” She leaned forward closer to you as she spoke. “I want you to know I did not know. That doesn’t excuse my part I know but I just wanted you to hear that.” 

“I don’t blame you Adelita. Angel can make his own decisions and that’s what he did.” 

“I think he told me about you so I would end things and I did.” Adelita remembered the night Angel had come to her. It had been three weeks since you walked out on him and he was a broken man, the guilt was eating him alive. He told her everything that night and she did the same clearing the air about what their relationship was. She always told Angel she was not in love with him, that their relationship was just a matter of conveince, great sex and a great way to let off steam. Adelita never loved Angel and Angel never truly loved her. Their time together was just a much needed distraction from their lives. “I did not love him and he never loved me as he had you and as I am sure he still does. Angel is not a man who gives up on love easily, he just lost his way.” 

You felt lighter having been able to take with Adelita. Again she was just a woman, human, nothing better or more special than you. You now had a face to the name who took over your every thought.

Minnie came into the room apologizing for interrupting before whispering something in Adelita’s ear and then leaving the room. Adelita’s posture changed as she sat up more. “I’m sorry to have to cut this short but I have to go and I suggest you do too. It’s not safe here.” Minnie had just informed her that Potter’s mercenaries were nearby. She was still supposed to be in hiding. Coming here was a risk she decided to take for you but she was not going to push it. She was too important to her cause, it would always come first. 

You weren’t really sure what was going on. Just as soon as you had started the conversation it was over. Standing up she shook your hand once more. “It was a pleasure to meet you.” Adelita said before stepping out of the room. 

Shortly after she was gone Gilly and Coco were in the room. “We have to go, now.” EZ said. 

You could sense the urgency of the situation and were beginning to panic. “What’s going on?” 

EZ didn’t want to scare you but didn’t want to keep you in the dark either. You already knew what Adelita did, how she was wanted as EZ had informed you with everything you needed to know. “It’s Potter's mercs. They got a tip that Adelita was spotted. It won’t be long before they are here."

You nodded in understanding and stood from your seat to follow Coco and Gilly out of the room with EZ close behind.


End file.
